Years Past

Years Past

While I coax myself to write a rendition of years past, I sit staring at the blank sheet on my computer. I hit the tab key and start typing.  I turn up the heat of the furnace while reminiscing about the days I spent chopping wood and sawing it into neat woodstove size chunks.  Our faces are rosy. I rub my hip because one of the logs grazed me while my dad was throwing it in the back of the van. The rig had a long trailer attached to it. A trailer designed from the back of an old pick up. The hubs covering the tires were still a part of this splendid contrivance.  Atop of this contraption was a handmade roof shaped like a top of an ark. We worked liked mules as we prepared for winter. 

After these wood gathering ventures I would climb into a tub filled with scents of lavender to sooth my sore muscles.  My skin was still tan from the sun of the summer. I remember reading a story about man who lived in a hut by a subtropical bay.  He rolled the dice with his comrades as he gambled.   He noticed his cat scratching at her ear. Feeling his loses he stumbled, after a night of drinking, to his medicine cabinet to retrieve the cotton swabs. He checked his cat’s ears for mites by digging the tip of a cotton swab into her ear.  The cotton swab was inserted too far, the cat meowed loudly. The man was a sleuth and his cat was his mentor.

My mother returned from a shopping trip that day carrying less money than she departed with to cook up a wonderful stir fry and brown rice.  My dad asked, “Did you buy out the store?”  Mom laughs, waters the fern, and serves dinner.  After eating the fatted calf we would resign to a night of watching jeopardy. 

During the evening hours after a long hardy day of labor we often made a hearty cup of hot chocolate topped off with a sprig of mint to ward off the germs of the season.  We would indulge in chips with French onion dip, our favorite. 

                My father died in January 2005 leaving my mother to spend her time in their home wrestling with loneliness.  I recently visited with her reminiscing of pass remembrances.

By Sharon Brunner

Note:  This story was written by using the words that were derived from playing an UP Words game (a game similar to scrabble).  Play scrabble and use the words to write a short story. I challenge anyone reading this short story to do so.

The Essential Ingredients of Mind-Body Health

The Essential Ingredients of Mind-Body Health

The assumption that healthy people are just lucky, have good genes, or practice preventive medicine is no more than a half-truth. The healthiest people in our society – meaning those who avoid catastrophic disease and live to a happy old age without any major debilitating illnesses – fall into a different profile. According to current medical understanding, here are the essential ingredients of mind-body health:

1)  Emotional adaptability. This is the single most important factor in staying well and living long. It’s the ability to let go and remain open to change. Everyone suffers losses and setbacks, but some get stuck in their pain, storing emotional toxicity or ama that contributes to imbalance and illness. Fortunately, emotional resilience is a quality that we can develop in ourselves. For those struggling with emotional pain, the Healing the Heart and Emotional Freedom programs offer a powerful process for releasing the past and reclaiming emotional balance and wholeness.

2)  Good coping mechanisms. There are two ways to cope with life’s uncertainty: acceptance and resistance. Acceptance is allowing events to unfold around you and reacting to them spontaneously, while resistance is fighting against the natural force of evolution. Nature will ultimately win, and our struggle against the river of life creates a lot of wear and tear on our body and accelerates the aging process. Cultivating acceptance is a powerful coping skill that doesn’t imply being passive or letting go of desire; it is actively practicing the Law of Detachment, which is based on an unwavering belief in the power of your true Self. Learn more about the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success at the Seduction of Spirit retreat.

3) Self-empowerment. Numerous studies show that people who feel victimized or out of control are at higher risk for physical and emotional illness.  Those who constantly feel like a victim of life make the mistake of false identification: They see themselves as limited and isolated, not realizing that our essential nature is pure potentiality.

4) Stress reduction. Stress exacts an enormous toll on our mental and physical health, including high blood pressure, heart disease, stomach ulcers, cancer, insomnia, depression, and autoimmune diseases. While many claim to thrive under pressure, no one maintains health and well-being in the face of constant long-term stress.

One of the most effective stress relief tools we have is meditation. When we meditate, our breathing slows, blood pressure decreases, and stress hormone levels fall. Beyond these significant health benefits, the greatest gift of meditation is the sense of calm and inner peace it brings into your daily life.

5) Feeling loved, wanted, and useful. All three are necessary for optimal health, and the healthiest people make choices to maximize their experience of these positive qualities. In fact, emotional deprivation is as unhealthy as a lack of good food, essential vitamins, and adequate sleep.

If someone were to come to me for a physical exam, I'd certainly comply, but before they left I would do everything possible to put them on the right track to optimal health, which has little to do with doctors and everything to do with self-awareness and balance.

Love,
Deepak Chopra

 

Falconry

Falconry

I went to a presentation last Wednesday (July 23, 2014) covering the sport of falconry.  It was extremely interesting.  Information for this article was derived from the website for the North American Falconers Associations.  Falconry is the taking of wild birds, usually birds of prey, from their natural habitat by a trained person.  This ancient activity is a very daunting endeavor involving a serious and dedicated person who is willing to take the time and energy it takes to carry out this task. On November 16, 2010 the United Nations Educational Scientific and Cultural Organization added falconry to its list of Intangible Cultural Heritages of Humanity.  The following is an overview of what falconry is.

Time:  Falconry is not an overnight accomplishment.  It takes at least seven years to become a master falconer.  The apprenticeship takes up to two years to complete.  Attending to hawks requires a large amount of time, every day, 365 days a years, and a bird in training necessitates considerably more time.  Raptors (tools used by falconers) cannot be hung on the wall and forgotten such as a gun or bow, it is used constantly.

Effort and Ethics:  Falconry is the only sport in America that uses a trained wild creature.  Falcons, hawks, eagles and owls are considered members of the wild life community.  The skilled falconer takes care to follow conservation principles while partaking in the sport.  The federal government states that falconry does not harm the natural balance; however, a careless falconer can seriously impact the wild raptor populations.  This cannot be a passing fancy.  Anyone interested in pursuing this sport must prove they have a serious committed interest in falconry.  The ethics of practicing excellent falconry are an important part of a falconer’s everyday life. 

Permits:  Birds of prey are protected by state, federal, and international law so all potential falconers must obtain the necessary permits and licenses before practicing falconry.  This process can take a long time because it includes taking a written falconry exam and getting the necessary signatures.  Some states require hunter education courses before you can obtain a hunting license. It is necessary to keep all paperwork straight and in triplicate form.

Costs:  The cost involved in falconry includes not only the cost of the bird but additional costs for apprentice falconers will be required by their sponsor to trap at least their first bird from the wild.  You will need an adequate funding base to spend on food, shelter, equipment, veterinary costs, permits and fees, and travel.  To keep your bird healthy, the bird requires only fresh raw meat especially the exact same whole birds and/or mammals they would catch in the wild on their own such as rabbits and smaller birds.  Housing of the birds of prey and equipment requirements are mandated by state and federal law.  Funding will be needed to buy raw materials and you will need to acquire the skill to work with these materials.  An inspection will be held before you are permitted to acquire a hawk by state and possibly by local officials.  Most falconers will purchase books as a source of vital information and enjoyment. 

Access to Land:   Permission to enter locations in which to locate birds of prey must be obtained.  Written permission of the property owner must be obtained.  Falcons require wide open spaces of land and hawks and some other birds can be hunted in smaller fields or farms.  Gun hunting areas, roads, power lines, urban settings and barbed wire fences may be considered undesirable hunting grounds and training areas because of potential threats to the birds and falconer.

Personality:  Can you listen to the advice of others?  Can you hunt?  Are you seriously interested in wildlife and the out-of-doors.  Do you understand that after a large amount of time and effort, your bird may take flight and never return?  How strong is your interest and how much have you already read about falconry and birds of prey? 

During the presentation the presenter gave these three requirements when pursuing the art of falconry: 1.  Pass the falconry test given by the DNR.

2.  Build a hawk house and have the DNR inspect it.

3.  Find a falconer to be your sponsor for two years.

Other tidbits of valuable information include the following privileges when you obtain a permit from the DNR which includes: 1.  Trap a sub-adult hawk or falcon from the wild.  2.  Capture a baby hawk from the next with a permit.  3.  Get a hawk or falcon from a falconer.  In order to catch a bird you need to use a tether at first.  Thousands are tagged each year to track them and their activities. 

The presenter described falconry as the training and then the watching of what they do.  He gave interesting tidbits such as the speed of some of the birds such as some can travel up to 200 miles per hour.  It would be probably next to impossible to get away from these birds if you were they desired prey. Eagles are the greatest birds of prey ever.  Eagles do not seem to forget. They can’t make a mistake.  Osprey only catch fish.  Snow Owls’ talons are so strong that they can cut through a person’s wrist to the bone.  The presenter had a snow owl as a captive.  Snow owls must be caught before they turn eight weeks of age otherwise they will not trust humans.  His snow owl was caught after that critical period so the owl would not trust other people.  The presenter had to stand with his back to the wall and have people line up so they could pet the owl.  The owl could not be approached from behind or from the side. And last but not least, falconry represents a relationship between a bird and the falconer.    

 

 

The Art of Conversation

The Art of Conversation

Conversation has a very broad meaning.  It can mean the gestures we use, our facial expressions and/or what we say.  Conversation can mean interactions with others or living together, not just talking.  When we are engaging in a real conversation in which a mutual exchange is occurring involving giving and taking, this is when we are truly together.  We can’t exchange something if they or we are not present.  We can talk to them or at them, but this is not a conversation.  A genuine conversation includes talking that involves regard for whether someone is listening.  We may have something to say and we say it but later on we find out that no one listened to what we had to say.  Words are precious.  Talking without being heard amounts to throwing the words in the wind.  We don’t communicate to be ignored or misunderstood.  If we take a look at our conversation style based on five elements, we may find valuable doors open and take us into more mindful and artful conversation. 

Be Present:  The part of the word conversation “con” mean together with.  If you want to have a conversation, be present, vigorously.  Since the value of conversation is in what all parties have given and/or gained, if we are not present nothing will be gained.

Think before you speak:  Take the time needed to design your language.  It is not how quickly or slowly you respond.  The value of what you say is the most important.  If no one in the conversation is offering anything of value, everyone will probably try to end the conversation. 

Make yourself heard:  Saying something valuable helps make for a great conversation.  Most of us love it when we are affected by what we hear, when words move us.  If you are not being heard, don’t blame your audience.  You will need to come up with something that engages them more.  Find out what others are interested in.  Build a bridge between you and others.

Be relational before being transactional:  Take time to develop the relational aspect of the conversation without solely focusing on the give and take of the conversation.  Build an opening for experiences by showing that you care. 

Enjoy yourself and let go:  A real exchange happens when all parties are enhanced by learning new things and feeling listened to.   Look forward to conversations and learn to enjoy yourself throughout the entire conversation, not just when you have a chance to speak.  You don’t live to get to the end of life.  Enjoyment is a choice and vital to having an artful conversation. 

Good listening mean mindful listening.  Listening takes a combination of intention and attention.  The intention part is having a genuine interest in the other person and what they have to say about their feelings, experiences, opinions, and needs.  The attention part is being able to stay present, open minded, and unbiased as you listen to the other’s words.   Being good at listening to others requires you to be able to listen to yourself.  If you can’t listen to your own beliefs, fears, and needs, you won’t be able to listen to others.  Here’s some pointers for tuning in:

Check inside:  “How am I feeling just now? Is there anything getting in the way of being present for the other person?  If something is in the way, make the decision to see if it needs to be addressed.

Feeling your own sense of presence, extend it to the other person with the intention to listen fully with an open mind. 

Silently note your own reactions as they arise including your thoughts, feelings, judgments, and memories as they arise.

Reflect back what you are hearing, using the speaker’s own words when possible or paraphrase using your own words to convey the meaning of what the speaker is trying to express.

Use friendly, open-ended questions to clarify your understanding and ask for more information.  Affirm before you question another’s opinion.  Acknowledging is not agreeing.  Make sure you understand what the other person is trying to convey before introducing your own opinions and ideas.

Having honest respectful and straightforward conversations can be satisfying for all parties.  Getting to know yourselves is pertinent before being able to understand the thoughts, feelings and beliefs of someone else.  It is vital to listen with intention and attention.  The word conversation has multiple meanings from being together to holding discussions.  A genuine conversation involves active listening which can open many doors. 

Barns

BARNS

By Sharon Brunner

Youth frolicking on bundles of hay,

Horses greeting the day with a neigh,

Cows chomping on their cuds,

Portly pigs play in the mud. 

Honeycombs built by bees,

Dogs receiving shade from trees,

Cats stalking small mice,

Older men tossing dice. 

A lazy hot summer day,

Horse and cow tails sway,

Mosquitoes buzzing searching,

Old tractor tiredly lurching. 

Aroma of baked pies,

Washing scents of lye,

Crops reaching for the heavens,

Dough preparing to leaven. 

Fat hens waddling,

Young mothers swaddling,

Enjoying soft warm rain,

Swaying rooster weather vane. 

Linens streaked with drops,

Mother Nature feeds the crops,

Large black crows cawing,

Men with logs sawing. 

Barns standing tall and proud,

Bells ringing sound and loud,

Breakfast, lunch or dinner,

Apple dumplings are the winner. 

Tired bones weary,

Laughing eyes teary,

Rumbling bellies need to eat,

Many hours before sleep,

Many hours before sleep.

Celebrating the 4th of July in Munising

Celebrating the 4^th of July in Munising

By Sharon Brunner

Waking from a deep, restful slumber,

bogs of fog wove through the mist.

Bugs swatted, leaving behind slimy matter.

Smell of bacon wafted from the campsites.

Children laughing, playing with toys,

riding bicycles and pulling wagons . 

Trailers pulled by diesel engines.

Clowns telling jokes, freely bantering.

Skin tan from the summer sun.

Assemble to watch war heroes marching.

School bands playing loudly for their audience,

ignoring the sweat gathering on their brows.

Stoic statues stand picturesque in the park.

Masses file through crowded streets,

to go to summer parties, paid by the reap

of this year’s earnings.

Is it sane to bane, what a sham, or is it?

A row of vendors selling their wares,

musicians citing words from favored songs.  

Uncle Don’s delicious homemade pies.

Aunt Donna said it’s time to grill,

Potato salad, beans, bratwurst, and hot dogs.

Cousins pat and form the burgers.

Corn on the cob, wrapped in foil.

Feeling like fatted hogs, eating heartily. 

Sitting around with family, memories cherished.

Find the core, turn the page, dear ones caring.

Laid on the grassy knoll, staring upward intently.

Brightly colored fireworks, smoke lingers.

It’s time to quit and call it a day.

Before retiring, enjoyed Diary Queen treats.

Another 4^th of July celebrated in the beautiful

town of Munising.

 

Challenge: to write a poem and/or short story from the words  our

teams came up with during the Word Up Game on Dec. 14^th, 2010.

Sane      deep     tan         smokes                stoic       wagon  wove

Paid       joke       reap       or            page      care       hale       foil

Laid        bogs      ob           banter  core       toy         node

Cove      roar        maim     form      of            pie          hogs      said

Bane      sham     quit        lox          bugs      slimy      cite

 

Family Dynamics

                A family is an actual natural social system.  A family consists of various properties such as an evolved set of rules, assigned and ascribed roles for each of its members.  These systems have developed elaborate overt and covert means of communicating. Families are frothed with many different beliefs and happenstance.  The statement “Why can’t we just get along?” permeates many families.  Families often represent a love/hate relationship.  There are so many various things to consider when thinking about families from birth order to rivalries.  Parents are supposed to raise their children to become independent of them, not dependent.  Three parenting styles depict the various forms of leadership and guidance: authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive.  Many parents are either too permissive or too authoritarian.  Some households are more violent than others.  Great efforts are applied to maintain the integrity of the family structure.  The relationship between members of this subculture is complicated and multilayered. 

                Many households today are plagued with many layers of dysfunction from unemployment to substance abuse.  Children often view themselves as a part of these infrastructures and are oftentimes estranged from these compositions. Breaking apart from these units occurs predominantly throughout a teen’s life.  However, individuals residing in these social systems are associated to one another by  sustainable, and reciprocal emotional attachments and loyalties that may fluctuate in intensity over time but will persist over the lifetime of the family. 

                Various forms of parenting can either make or break the children being raised in these systems. Parents who practice the authoritarian parenting style stagnates a child’s creative expression and represses their independence.  Native American children who were raised in the Indian Boarding Schools were subjected to extremely harsh treatment and deprivation.  The food that was provided to these children was often less than adequate to meet their nutritional needs, often spoiled. They were not afforded the proper nurturance.  These unfortunate children were abused physically, emotionally and often they were sexually abused.  Parents and caregivers who practice this form of parenting often believe that children must obey them for the sake of their presumed authority.  Oftentimes, the person in authority follows the tenet of “do as I say” and “not as I do.”  The child’s only voice is this domineering person’s voice which can cause despair with the child and can lead to feelings of hopelessness and depression with no chance of a happy future. 

                Children may question their own identity and become anxious, fearful and timid under this tyranny.  This form of parenting will extend outside of their family and they will become complacent and fall easily under the influence of their peers.  They will also become victims of controlling individuals.   These children may become underachievers, not knowing what to strive for.  They allow life just to happen around them.  The opposite can also prove to the true for these children and they will become overachievers.

                An overachiever was often bred from overly judgmental parents and their feelings of inadequacy .  The rule about being successful was intricately defined.  I had a father who would view my report card with all A’s and one B and he would say “why couldn’t your grades be all A’s.” He was extremely critical about pretty much everything.  How did that form of parenting make me into the adult I am today, it made me become an overachiever, one who is trying to constantly fill my void of being inadequate.  Still fighting that battle.  Some parents afford their children very little to no guidance and let them do pretty much whatever they want to do.

                Permissive parenting is another downfall for many parents.  As stated earlier, many households today are either over managed or under managed.  I know of a household in which the mother is constantly gone to meetings, she attends at least six meetings a week along with working 30 to 35 hours per week.  When does she spend quality time with her family?  Many parents do not want to be burdened with their children especially when they get older, their teen years.  So they let their children go wherever they want with whomever they want.  Traditional Native American families practiced what could be considered permissive parenting; however, it was quite the opposite.  All of the adults in the traditional Native American village were responsible for the children.  They were guided by many adults and watched over.  Today you see many teenagers hanging out on street corners.  What happened to the family thread that is supposed to hold these families together? 

                Authoritative parenting provides us with the answer to the parenting woes.  We need to talk with our children and them a say, give them a chance to make mistakes, guide them without the use of punitive methods such as yelling, and accept them for who they are, with their faults, strengths and everything else that makes them, them.  We need to be aware of their strengths and interests and nurture these abilities.  Two biological sisters can be as different as two strangers you meet at Walmart.  All children need to be treated like they are unique beings, separate individuals.  The difference was like night and day when it came to my one sister and I.  My other sister and I have more in common.  The genetic pool is large when conception occurs.  My parents treated me and the former sister like we were alike and being one year and two weeks older than her, we were dressed alike.  How appalling and that did not encourage our individuality.  Many pairs of twins are dressed alike.  Again, children need to be respected and be given a chance to work out the difficulties they face on a day to day basis in a way that honors their intelligence.  The authoritative parenting style affords opportunities to treat all situations a child faces as a means for positive growth. 

                Family units may contain various forms of alliances.  There may be triads and dyads and there may be a family member who appears to not be a part of the family dynamics.  An example of a triad may be a mother and her two children with the father being the outsider.  An example of a dyad may be a mother and her daughter with the son left out.  I am familiar with a family in which the mother only does enjoyable things with the daughter and will not participate with her husband with any of his outside interests.  I see many mothers in particular who make their children their world and the husband is left out. 

                Different roles exists within families.  There is the caretaker role in which one or more children are placed in charge of their parents’ feelings and emotions.  Remember when mothers use to say “you are going to be the death of me.”  What a lot of responsibility to place on a child.  What happens if the mother is sick a lot?  Does the child feel responsible?  Caretakers are also placed in the role of being responsible for their younger siblings.  I can certainly relate to this phenomenon because I was the oldest child of four.  Other roles also serve to keep the family intact.

                Being the clown in the family brings levity to difficult situations.  We can learn to not take anything serious which we may end up not addressing the real serious situations that need our attention. 

                Families have a private image and a public image.  Many families like to keep their dysfunction a secret.  Others are chasing each other around their front yards with frying pans.  Talking about family dysfunction can bring light to some of our questions and can help us not feel alone with our misery.  Some family members are not allowing their adult children in their lives and some adult children are estranged from their parents.  All families experience some level of dysfunction.  Some family members retreat into their own personal world and identity.  The family structures within the family dynamics are considered within each society as a whole.  We are all shaped by the society and family structures in which we have encountered.