The Snowshoe Priest

No missionary was more beloved and revered by both Indians and Euro-Americans than Baraga. One of the coun-ties in Michigan was named after him along with a town in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan, and his name has been used for one of the principal streets in Marquette, Michigan. Frederic Baraga is still honored in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. His picture is in one of the main com-munity meeting rooms at the St. Joseph Church on Minneapolis Street in Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan. Baraga struggled with many hardships such as harsh weather, hostilities from some unwelcoming Indian people in a few locations, antagonistic fur-traders and he drudged over frozen land for hundreds of miles on snow shoes to fulfill his Christian obligations.

Missionaries were not only responsible for pro-viding Christian services, they also had to provide basic educational teachings to the Indian children. He humbly pursued a path of divine devotion through his missionary work with the Native Americans for thirty-seven years.

            Frederic Baraga was born on June 29, 1797 in Malavas, which is currently referred to as Slovenia. His parents were Johann Nepomuc Baraga and Maria Katharine Josefa. Five children were born to this union. Frederic be-ing number four. His father was not rich, but his mother inherited her father’s estate after his death. Frederic’s parents were driven to provide a good education for their children while they were alive. His mother died in 1808 when he was 11 and his father died in 1812 when he was 15.

            Dr. George Dolinar, a professor in the diocesan clerical seminary at Laibach, strived to provide a good edu-cation for Frederic and the rest of his siblings after his parents’ death. Dr. Dolinar was assigned the guardian for Federic. It was discovered at an early age that he possessed the amazing gift of learning a multitude of languages and was fluent in six languages by the time he was nine years old. Baraga attended the University of Vienna, studied law and graduated in 1821. Soon afterwards he decided to turn his future aspirations to the priesthood and was ordained as a priest on September 21, 1823 at Laibach, where Dolinar taught. He began his priesthood journey as an assistant in St. Martin’s parish, in lower Carniola until October 29, 1830. In 1829, Baraga requested permission to apply to Bishop Fenwick at Cincinnati, Ohio with a proposal that he wanted to provide missionary services in the United States. To his archbishop he wrote, “Already for many years, I have cherished the desire to go to the mission in order to preach the gospel to pagans, who as yet do not know God, and to show them, with God’s help, the way to salvations.” [i]

            Bishop Edward Dominic Fenwick took Baraga under his wing when he began his work in Cincinnati, Ohio. He worked among German Catholics of Cincinnati and elsewhere for several months until he was assigned to his first Indian mission in L’Arbre Croche (known today as Harbor Springs, Michigan and the surrounding area). He arrived at L’Arbre Croche on May 28, 1831. This assign-ment proved to be successful from the Christian point of view because he baptized 547 Indian adults and children.

            In September 1833 he left L’Arbre Croche and founded a new Indian mission at Grand River, Michigan. The Grand River mission was not as successful as the one at L’Arbre Croche. Trying to not lose faith in his mission, he trudged on despite not being welcomed by this group of Native Americans. Letters were sent to Cincinnati that in-formed his superiors that he had been causing dissention amongst the people of the village. Heartbroken, he spent his days at that mission feeling desperately alone. 

            His next mission involved working with the Chippewas at La Pointe, Wisconsin. He arrived in Wisconsin in July of 1835 and he experienced more suc-cess at La Pointe. In 1843 he founded the L’Anse Indian mission in Michigan and labored at this location for approximately ten years. This was a vast mission expand-ing over hundreds of miles. For many years Baraga was the only Catholic priest in Upper Michigan. He not only pro-vided service to the Indian people, he also worked with the people of European descent. The discovery of copper and iron drew many German, French, and English speaking Catholics to the Northern-Peninsula of Michigan. 

On July 29, 1853, the Upper Peninsula of Michigan became a separate diocese and broke away from Detroit. Baraga was appointed the first bishop for this region. He looked upon his new role with trepidation and grateful anticipation. The added responsibilities were a bit intimi-dating but at the same time he was relieved that he could ordain new priests to help him provide service to all in need in the vast territory.

His jurisdiction spanned from the whole Upper Peninsula in Michigan, part of the Lower Peninsula in Michigan, to Northern Wisconsin and the entire north shore of Lake Superior which encompassed part of Minnesota. Often he traveled by the use of snowshoes from one end of this vast territory to the other during the frigid winter months. He managed to provide service for this territory for approximately 15 years. [ii]

Following his appointment as bishop he issued two circulars to the people he was providing service to, one in Chippewa and the other in English. Bishop Baraga was one of the most well-known authors in American Indian litera-ture and he wrote the first known Chippewa grammar book. This grammar work went through three editions. It took several years of arduous labor to compile the Chippewa dictionary and the dictionary went through several editions. Both the grammar and dictionary books were highly rever-ed and in constant use by Indian missionaries and others.

His Indian prayer book and works of religious instruction have been read by both Indian people and their pastors. Baraga completed all his works of instruction in simple and clear fashion. His prayer book, “Dusna Pasa,” a prayer book developed for the people of Slovenia, was written in his native tongue. This book went through ten editions, the last in 1905, with 84,000 copies. This is proof of its usefulness and popularity. He also wrote an Odawa prayer book titled “Jesus O Bimadisiwim” (The Life of Jesus) along with other well known books about commandments and sacraments.[iii]

Part of his drive to publish and make available to the public religious sacraments was due to his reaction to Jensenism, which was prevalent when he first became a priest. Jensenism was a movement associated with the careful selection of who could participate in religious cere-monies and instruction. Only those who were guaranteed entrance into heaven could partake in the sacraments. Baraga went against this belief system and welcomed all people to hear his sermons. His rebellion angered other priests and they resented Baraga’s popularity. [iv]

Only a small portion of the Indian population did not welcome his services and they were the tribal people of the Grand River region. A missionary’s role consists of providing schooling for the Indian children, converting the “pagans” to Christianity and providing for the basic needs of the tribal people such as teaching them how to farm. The missionaries had many duties as they served their mission.       

---

 

Chapter VII: The Snowshoe Priest

[i] Macdonald, G. (2004). Frederic Baraga’s Short History of the North American Indians. Alberta, Canada: University of Calgary Press.

[ii] Catholic Encyclopedia.  Frederic Baraga.  Retrieved on September 30, 2014 from www.newadvent.org.

[iii] Catholic Encyclopedia.  Frederic Baraga.  Retrieved on September 30, 2014 from www.newadvent.org.

[iv] Lambert, B. (1974). Shepard of the Wilderness.  Michigan: Bishop Baraga Association, Inc.

Realizing Our Self Worth

Realizing Our Self Worth 

“Ninety percent of the world’s woe comes from people not

knowing themselves, their abilities, their frailties, and

even their real virtues. Most of us go almost all the way

through life as complete strangers to ourselves.”

Sydney Harris 

Positive feelings of self-worth represent a healthy way in which we view ourselves as valuable individuals. Humility is considered an asset, while being confident is often viewed as a fault. What we believe about ourselves and our abilities serves as a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we continue to tell ourselves we are worthless, our actions will follow suit. By raising our opinion of ourselves, we will accomplish so much more. We will end up contributing more to our communities and households and experience more life satisfaction.

            The Native American people were beaten down so much for centuries by acts of genocide, assimilation, discrimination, and acculturation that our self-worth is often residing in the very depths of our souls. Many of us will need a crowbar to unlock that treasure. What did the history of our parents and grandparents do to our feelings of self-worth? We can obtain feelings of positive self-worth when we honor ourselves with self-love. If we love ourselves for who we are with all our gifts, faults and other nuances, we will tap into our valuable self-worth.   

            If we are experiencing feelings of low self-worth we may: 

·         Come from a troubled and dysfunctional family.

·         Blame ourselves for everything.

·         Fear rejection.

·         Have a lot of “shoulds.”

·         Feel ashamed of who we are.

·         Think we are not good enough.

·         Feel as if we are different from the rest of the world.

·         Reject compliments or praise.

·         Feel depressed because of a lack of praise and compliments.

·         Take things personally.

·         Have been victims of sexual, emotional or physical abuse, neglect, abandonment, or substance abuse.

·         Pick on ourselves constantly about the way we think, look, feel and act. 

·         Tell ourselves we can’t do anything right.

·         Be afraid of making mistakes.

·         Expect ourselves to do everything perfectly.

·         Feel a lot of guilt.

·         Feel guilty when we spend money on ourselves or do fun things for ourselves.           

            Conversely, how do we know if we love ourselves?  The following represent signs of self-love:

·         We start making time for ourselves.

·         We set up boundaries to protect ourselves.

·         We forgive ourselves, not just for trivial mistakes, but for larger mistakes.

·         We let go of unrealistic expectations of ourselves and feel good about what we have already accomplished.

·         We find one thing to do every day that makes us happy even if it is brief such as smelling a flower.

·         We take a moment to breathe deeply and pay attention to our breath.

·         When we hear ourselves thinking something demeaning about ourselves, we practice thought stopping, and develop thoughts which are more compassionate. 

It is difficult to love thy neighbor when we don’t love ourselves. We need to tell ourselves daily that we love ourselves and practice thinking kind thoughts on a regular basis to build our love for ourselves. It is not narcissistic to love ourselves and place importance on ourselves. Self-love is a necessary component to maintaining healthy relationships with anyone including ourselves.

We need to take a good look at ourselves in the bathroom mirror and say one of the following things to ourselves daily: 

·         “I’m strong and attractive and I like what I see.”

·         “I deserve to have a great life.”

·         “I enjoy being me.”

·         “I am confident in myself and my abilities.” 

We need to focus on our strengths instead of focusing on our faults and shortcomings. Paying attention to the latter can destroy any amount of joy we may have in our lives. Our strengths are the very qualities which could make us look our best, yet we try to describe our strengths by making them sound like they are deficits in our character. For example we may say something like this “my weakness is that I care too much.”  We do so, to put a positive spin on whom we are and get the validation we are seeking by presenting ourselves to the outside world in a humble manner, humility is the key to being accepted by others. Our strengths are defined by what we actually do and need to be considered when we are trying to enhance our feelings of self-worth. They are the things we do on a regular basis. To discover our strengths use the following guidelines consisting of these basic ingredients: 

·         Explore our talents, such as empathy, assertiveness, or competitiveness. Since we often take our talents for granted, step back and put a label on our talents. These talents are things we were born with and they stayed with us. 

·         Examine our skills which are things we developed during our lives and are not innate.  They were learned abilities.

·         Discover our personal knowledge which is learned and developed through experience, formal learning activities, reading and learning from others.   

            When we put these ingredients together we can gain an understanding about our strengths. Let’s say we are an advocate for people who have been diagnosed with a disability. Our assertiveness allows us to be able to secure services for our clients, our communication skills permit us to convey what our client’s needs are, and our knowledge of what services are available permits us to make decisions that are in the best interest of our client. 

            Another example may be talents consisting of our ability to be empathetic if we work as a day care provider for young children. Our empathetic abilities give us the capability of understanding what the children under our care need. Because of our skills we are able to provide activities which will enhance the engagement of the children in play time activities and our knowledge of child development will enhance their learning experiences and provide them with a safe environment.

            When we begin to describe our strengths, examine activities we have felt most successful accomplishing. Defining the ingredients in this manner demonstrates what comes naturally and what is learnable. To capture a full understanding of our strengths, we are going to have to go beyond the generic labels and explore how the actual activities make us feel by the use of four signs: success; instincts; growth; and needs. We will need to take the following steps by paying close attention to our feelings before, during, and after our weekly activities. When did we feel successful at accomplishing our goals? To examine our instincts, we need to explore what we find ourselves looking forward to doing. What activities create the most positive growth for us?  The instinct sign refers to how we feel before we did the activity; growth refers to how we felt during the activity, conversely the need sign refers to how we felt right after we have done the activity. We may really feel good after doing the activity and we want to experience that feeling again. 

A person lacking internal feelings of self-worth feels a need for continuous validation, the greater the lack of self-worth, the greater the need for validation. If we have confidence in ourselves, we will gain respect from others. It is so necessary that we demonstrate this confidence for the sake of our children and grandchildren. They need for us to believe in ourselves so that we can guide them to the right paths to take and so they will take us seriously. Confidence is a way of behaving that doesn’t happen automatically. It occurs because we have learned how to nurture ourselves with self-talk that promotes confidence. It exists when we have learned to speak from belief rather than doubt, from uniqueness rather than conformity.

We need to examine our self-talk and ask is it full of doubt?  Remember our self-talk influences our behaviors and the outcome of any given situation. If we want to take on a leadership role, we need to have a higher level of confidence and feelings of self-worth. We can do so by thinking about all the things we can do right. Start small and think about how well we make our bed in the morning or how well we cook eggs. Then move onto the bigger things such as our job related skills. 

Even if some of us work at McDonalds, praise ourselves on how well we do our jobs. There was a documentary covering the complexities of working at McDonalds in which television icons demonstrated how difficult it was to work at McDonalds. We cannot discount anything we do in life. If we survived abuse during our childhoods, consider the strength we possessed to endure such hardships. We need to focus on our strengths.

             A person who suffers from a low level of self-worth will feel as if they will lose something if they give honor to others. Test those waters and see how comfortable you are with complimenting others. Does it come naturally or is it a struggle for you to do so. The compliment must come from the heart and not be superficial. We need to rehearse truly complimenting others before trying it out on actual people if it is not a common practice for us. Others can sense when we are not being genuine and that will damage our credibility. 

            I know this will be a hard road to travel because we have been told we need to get beyond ourselves and think of others. I am also aware of some people who think mostly about themselves. Do they do so in a loving way? No. They do so because they are overly concerned about their own personal comfort. It is strictly an act of avoidance of anything that may place them in an uncomfortable situation. If we are one of those people who work very hard at avoiding being uncomfortable and instead of facing things, we may handle possible uncomfortable situations by being passive aggressive, work on this problem because we will end up causing harm to ourselves and others. For example, if we tell people what they want to hear; but we don’t follow through, we are going to get the reputation that we don’t do what we say we are going to do, our credibility will be damaged. This will damage our feelings of self-worth.

A lot of people believe that since their self-worth was based on their early years concerning how their parents, teachers, and friends treated them, they can do little to change their feelings of self-worth. It is true that our feelings of self-worth were determined by our pasts. This can be changed. How we judge ourselves is what really counts. It really doesn’t matter what others may think about us. Low feelings of self-worth are based on mistaken ideas and we all have the ability to change these notions if we choose. When looking back at negative experiences think about how we would have dealt with those situations if we would have had a positive, confident attitude.  Don’t look back with regret. Rewriting our past history will have a powerful effect on our future. 

Every person is obligated to be aware of their valuable self-worth. Everybody is unique, born at a specific time to a particular family and living in a certain geological area. This uniqueness in itself gives us great importance. From this point of view we do not have to feel inferior to anyone else. When the Europeans came to this country, the Native American people were referred to as half human by the Europeans, undeserving of respect. The color of their skin was looked upon as inferior. Also wealth was and continues to be a determining factor of how much a person is worth. Famous athletes or actors are deemed as being worth more than others. It is unnecessary to be burdened with feelings of low self-worth when we can easily create specific criteria in which we would be considered a success. No one has a perfect life including those who have achieved fame. Examine all the things we can do and consider our strengths.

Our feelings of self-worth are very important and diminished feelings of self-worth can definitely make a negative impact on our sense of happiness. We need to feel as if we are valuable individuals with exceptional strengths. We are unique with talents and gifts others do not possess. We are not just an employee at McDonalds or any other place of employment; we are people with abilities that enable us to handle a job at McDonalds. We do make a difference. Say positive self affirmations daily such as “I am a worthy person.”  Native American people throughout history have been told otherwise and we can fix that damage. Rewrite history and make us and our ancestors the victors. We are still here, aren’t we? Develop a list of things we can do, even if we have to start small such as making our beds properly. Develop our own criteria of why we are great and don’t let others do that for us. We need to nurture our self-worth as if it is a newborn baby needing our care. 

 

Why Fostering Our Spirituality is so Important

Why Fostering Our Spirituality is so Important? 

“Spiritual activities such as prayer,

contemplation, and meditation

can reduce stress, promote a healthier

lifestyle, and intensify

our sense of belonging.

Spirituality can also have a

positive effect on brain activity.”

Robert Sherfield 

Building a spiritual connection can provide strength and hope during difficult times. It can serve as a reminder that good and beautiful things co-exist in a world with violence and suffering. Getting in touch with divinity is the essence of one’s soul, an individual’s innermost nature, and represents the synergy in all things, animate and inanimate. Spirituality does not only represent tolerance and acceptance, it is the feeling of universal oneness and unity in diversity and includes an awareness of the connectedness of all that is. All of life has meaning and purpose and is accordingly blessed. Spirituality is defined as the animating force in life, symbolized by breath, wind, vigor, and courage and can be considered an active and passive process. It is usually personal between us and divinity and is a way in which we take care of ourselves, and gain a better understanding of who we are.

            When we engage ourselves spiritually, we can explore our gifts, strengths, and strive to seek peace, harmony and a deeper understanding of the universe, meaning our personal connection with divinity. Spirituality is usually personal between us personally and divinity. It is a way in which we take care of ourselves, and gain a better understanding of who we are.

            To address spiritual deficiencies, we can explore our cultural roots and enhance our spiritual connections. According to tribal ancestors, spirituality was of the utmost importance and needed to be nurtured starting at a young age. Children were taught to become aware of their dreams and learn how to examine the latent and manifest messages portrayed by their dreams. Vision quests, fasting and other forms of communicating with one’s higher power were strongly encouraged.

            A belief that is supported by those who practiced a traditional form of spirituality is that everyone is given gifts from the universe at birth to use as medicine for the mind, body, heart and spirit. These sacred gifts are: Respect, Humility, Compassion, Honesty, Truth, Wisdom, and Love.  Each gift comes with a teaching which offers direction and guidance in finding balance and purpose in life by:

·         Acceptance of who we are as individuals, and members of our families and communities.

·         Understanding our responsibilities.

·         Doing what we are supposed to do with the best of our abilities. 

Elders and other adult males and females imparted teachings to prepare the youth for their path in life.  It was important to learn how to live in a gentle way with humbleness and respect accomplished through prayer, fasting, and listening to everything and being open for what our spirit guides are trying to teach us. The beliefs associated with the path of life included the following:  

·         Honor Gitchi Manito (The Creator).

·         Honor elders.

·         Honor our elder brothers (all animals are considered to be elder brothers because they were here before humans, and they are relied on for teachings, as well as for sustenance).

·         Honor women.

·         Keep promises and uphold pledges.

·         Show kindness to everyone.

·         Be peaceful in body and spirit.

·         Be courageous.

·         Be moderate in dreams, thoughts, words and deeds. 

            Many ways exist in which we can enhance our spirituality from meditation to a walk in the woods. Spirituality is unique and personal and can be achieved in many ways, from belonging to a church, practicing yoga, to participating in a 12 Step program. Prayer and meditation are other ways to seek spiritual solace. Cognitive Dissonance is referred to as any idea, belief or practice that is contrary to our actual beliefs. There are so many contradictory messages portrayed in religious practices. We are told to fear God; but at the same time we are told fear demonstrates a lack of faith.

            If you find comfort in attending organized religious practices because of the support obtained from having a connection with the congregation and church leaders, by all means continue this practice. However, be careful not to fall into the guilt and shame traps. We need to build up a personal system in which we protect ourselves by gaining a very good understanding of what our values are and we can take what we need from each church service and leave the rest. Attending religious services does not ensure that we are addressing our spiritual needs. We cannot replace our spirituality with religion. They are not one in the same.

Religion is generally associated with a body of people adhering to a particular set of beliefs, practices, rituals and theory, and provides guidance for moral behaviors and can be limiting in focus. Many religions demonstrate adherence for attendance and membership. Religion is considered a belief in a higher power, the supernatural and is associated to an outside organization such as a church or synagogue. Spirituality is inborn and exclusive to all people, and represents a tendency to move towards knowledge, love, meaning, hope, transcendence, connectedness, and compassion. 

Beliefs have power to guide our actions and behaviors, either positive or negative. We need to examine what beliefs are working in our lives and leading us down the right path and what beliefs have been destructive. Our spiritual beliefs can guide us on how to view matters such as death to understanding the meaning of life, faith and trust, trust that important element in any healthy relationship. Our spiritual beliefs are usually the most avid gauge of our actions and behaviors. Our self-esteem is associated with our spiritual beliefs. When we act in a way that is in agreement with our beliefs we feel elated, when we act against our beliefs it is detrimental to our psyche.

Spirituality and self-esteem are key ingredients concerning character development. They serve as a road map when interacting with others. People with ingrained spiritual beliefs carry themselves with deep sincerity of character.  When we have maintained a strong character base we behave the same way when we are alone as we do in the company of others. Character can be described as how we would act if all of a sudden there were no policies or consequences for our behaviors. We are free to treat anyone however we wanted without taking responsibility. I have viewed television shows and movies in which the police were busy or distracted from policing specific areas so there was looting going on. The individuals stealing others’ property did not have strong character. 

We all know people who are poor in character.  They are the people we can’t trust. These individuals make decisions based on how the outcomes will affect them and can be extremely self-serving. They don’t keep their promises, do not tell the truth, they do horrible things to others to get ahead, and do not respect the needs and wants of others.

           A person of character accepts responsibility for his or her actions and does not place blame on others for their own wrongdoings. They do not take the credit due to others. A person of character treats everyone fairly. I am reminded of how poorly the native people were treated when Columbus thought he arrived in the West Indies. Did Columbus have strong character and ingrained spiritual beliefs?  Did the caregivers at the Indian boarding schools have strong character with solid spiritual beliefs when they abused the children at these institutions?

Enhancing our spirituality can provide us inner strength and hope. Our spirituality is usually unique and personal and reminds us that we can co-exist in a world filled with good and suffering. A life force does exist that makes things grow, makes rain, rivers, mountain ranges, and the perfect banana. Childbirth is another representation of the miracle and mystery of life. We need to examine what is working in our lives and what is not concerning our beliefs and establish a deep-seated understanding of what our values are. We need to work diligently to prevent ourselves from doing things which go against our values. It is also important to explore and nurture our spirituality to enhance and/or maintain our self-esteem and build a strong character if our character is broken.

 

Establishing Healthy Relationships

Establishing Healthy Relationships 

“Help thy brother’s boat across and lo!

Thine own has reached the shore.”

Hindu proverb

                                                                                                                                       Establishing healthy relationships is the key to happiness. Being in a supportive and loving relationship is probably the strongest psychological predictor to establishing overall wellness. When we are asked, “What gives meaning to our lives?” our friendships and other significant others are probably at the top of our list. The human brain is wired for us to be social beings. People need other people. We are able to store in our memory banks a large amount of facial images and we can retrieve these images from memory at a moment’s notice because of our need to be with others.

We may be experiencing thoughts which prevent us from having healthier relationships such as feeling obligated to do certain things with significant others, family members, and other people in our lives. We can change our thoughts to “I am looking forward to spending time with my family.” Relationships don’t just happen, they are built on mutual respect and understanding. Their development is something that is learned and practiced. We need to think of relationships as an investment. When dealing with unresolved trauma, we may have had trouble facing the future with the anticipation of positive outcomes. It is important to change our outlook on life in order to make the life changes necessary to establish healthy relationships.

The transition from just being acquaintances to friendship is characterized by the increase of self-disclosure. In the early stages of any relationship, self-disclosure tends to be a more gradual and reciprocal process. Letting people know about things that are very personal to us takes courage for most of us. Reciprocity is the key and if you or your possible friend is not willing to share your deepest, darkest secrets, more than likely the relationship will not last long. Or the relationship will feel like something is missing and will quickly lose its luster. Once the relationship is established through mutual self-disclosure, the glue that binds two people together is intimacy. Emotional expressiveness and unconditional support along with acceptance, loyalty, and trust are key ingredients for a solid and satisfactory relationship. Skills such as learning how to listen as well as responding appropriately to the news being shared are paramount. We need to listen as well as share. 

 

Ingredients for a healthy relationship are: 

·         Mutual respect.

·         Forgiveness.

·         Honest Communication.

·         Empathy.

·         Shared responsibilities.

·         Trust and support.

·         Effort and Commitment.

·         Making decisions together.

·         Respecting each other’s boundaries.

·         Avoid competing with one another.

·         Avoiding stereotypes

·         Focusing on each other as individuals. Respecting each other’s strengths and abilities. 

                  ·         Being assertive helps relationships which means stating our needs and wants without                          attacking, blaming or making excuses.

·         Independence which is a very important factor that both friends can find enjoyment with spending time with each other; but at the same time maintain separate identities.

·         Being willing to admit our mistakes and shortcomings.

·         Generosity is another necessary component when maintaining a healthy relationship. In a healthy relationship, we can give another person something or do a good deed for a person and not expect something in return for our generosity.

·         Have a common vision. We both have an idea of what the relationship means and where we would like it to go.   

Friendships and spousal connections are like a dose of good medicine, someone who will stick by our side through the good and bad times. A loving and supportive relationship to a spouse is one of the most important of all relationships. Marriage has been noted as a better predictor of happiness than having money or children. Friendships cannot be minimized due to their importance. Most young people who say they have a good relationship with their parents are usually happier with life in general.

 

          If we are having difficulty sustaining healthy relationships, one of the biggest roadblocks may be not taking the time or making the effort to make healthy and supportive connections with other people. We can easily get caught up in our own lives, our jobs, our routines, and before we know it, we are spending less and less time with friends, family, and our spouse or significant other. We can and need to take the time to spend quality time with our friends and family to secure our connection with others. We need to pay attention to how much time we waste doing things that don’t enhance our lives such as watching too much television. 

Healthy relationships take commitment and the desire to maintain a connection to others.  Having a wholesome relationship is a choice between two individuals. We need to allow enough time in our lives for each other and don’t place blame on the other person if things are not working out. It takes two to fight and it also takes two to make things work. Communicate with one another and make plans to spend time together. A lot of time is wasted when there are disagreements due to misunderstandings. We are responsible for our own feelings and we can portray what our feelings are in a productive, non-hurtful manner. The value of a strong, supportive and caring relationship is priceless.

 

The Greastest Murder Machine in History

The Greatest Murder Machine in History
By Mike Konrad

When one thinks of mass murder, Hitler comes to mind. If not Hitler,
then Tojo, Stalin, or Mao. Credit is given to the 20th-century
totalitarians as the worst species of tyranny to have ever arisen.
However, the alarming truth is that Islam has killed more than any of
these, and may surpass all of them combined in numbers and cruelty.

The enormity of the slaughters of the "religion of peace" are so far
beyond comprehension that even honest historians overlook the scale.
When one looks beyond our myopic focus, Islam is the greatest killing
machine in the history of mankind, bar none.

The Islamic conquest of India is probably the bloodiest story in
history. -- Will Durant, as quoted on Daniel Pipes site.

Conservative estimates place the number at 80 million dead Indians.

According to some calculations, the Indian (subcontinent)
population decreased by 80 million between 1000 (conquest of
Afghanistan) and 1525 (end of Delhi Sultanate). -- Koenrad Elst as
quoted on Daniel Pipes site

80 Million?! The conquistadors' crimes pale into insignificance at that
number. No wonder Hitler admired Islam as a fighting religion. He stood
in awe of Islam, whose butchery even he did not surpass.

Over 110 Million Blacks were killed by Islam.

... a minumum of 28 Million African were enslaved in the Muslim
Middle East. Since, at least, 80 percent of those captured by Muslim
slave traders were calculated to have died before reaching the slave
market, it is believed that the death toll from 1400 years of Arab and
Muslim slave raids into Africa could have been as high as 112 Millions.
When added to the number of those sold in the slave markets, the total
number of African victims of the trans-Saharan and East African slave
trade could be significantly higher than 140 Million people. -- John
Allembillah Azumah, author of The Legacy of Arab-Islam in Africa: A
Quest for Inter-religious Dialogue

Add just those two numbers alone together, and Islam has surpassed the
victims of 20th-century totalitarianism. However, it does not end
there. Add the millions who died at the hand of Muslims in the Sudan in
our lifetime.

Much of Islamic slavery was sexual in nature, with a preference for
women. Those men who were captured were castrated. The mulatto children
of the women were often killed, which explains why Islam was not
demographically shifted towards the black race, unlike slaves in the
West, who bore children to breed a mestizo class. Add in those dead
children; and we arrive at well over 200 million.

Remember that in the 7th century, North Africa was almost totally
Christian. What happened to them?

By the year 750, a hundred years after the conquest of Jerusalem,
at least 50 percent of the world's Christians found themselves under
Muslim hegemony… Today there is no indigenous Christianity in the
region [of Northwest Africa], no communities of Christians whose
history can be traced to antiquity.-- "Christianity Face to Face with
Islam," CERC

What happened to those Christian millions? Some converted. The rest?
Lost to history.

We know that over 1 million Europeans were enslaved by Barbary Pirates.
How many died is anybody's guess.

...for the 250 years between 1530 and 1780, the figure could easily
have been as high as 1,250,000 - BBC

In the Middle Ages…

…many slaves were passed through Armenia and were castrated there
to fill the Muslim demand for eunuchs. -- Slavery in Early Medieval
Europe.

The same practice ran through Islamic Spain. North Europeans captured
from raids up to Iceland, or purchased, were butchered in the
castratoriums of Iberia. Many died from the operations that ran for
centuries.

The number of dead from the Muslim conquest of the Balkans and Southern
Italy is unknown, but again the numbers add up, surely into the
millions over the centuries. Don't forget the 1.5 million Armenian
Christians killed by the Turks during WWI. We do know that over five
centuries, vast numbers of Christian boys were kidnapped to become
Islamic Janissary mercenaries for the Turks. Add those in, too.

Muslims prized blonde women for their harems; and so enslaved Slavic
women were purchased in the bazaars of the Crimean Caliphate. In Muslim
Spain, an annual tribute of 100 Visigothic [blonde] women was required
from Spain's Cantabrian coast.

For decades, 100 virgins per year were required by the Muslim
rulers of Spain from the conquered population. The tribute was only
stopped when the Spaniards began fighting back -- Jihad: Islam's 1,300
Year War Against Western Civilisation

Add in the death toll from the Reconquista and the numbers climb
higher.

Research has shown that the Dark Ages were not caused by the Goths, who
eventually assimilated and Christianized:

…the real destroyers of classical civilization were the Muslims. It
was the Arab Invasions... which broke the unity of the Mediterranean
world and turned the Middle Sea -- previously one of the world’s most
important trading highways -- into a battleground. It was only after
the appearance of Islam... that the cities of the West, which depended
upon the Mediterranean trade for their survival, began to die. -- Islam
Caused the Dark Ages

Add in those unknown millions who died as a consequence.

How many know the horrors of the conquest of Malaysia? The Buddhists of
Thailand and Malaysia were slaughtered en masse.

When attacked and massacred by the Muslims, the Buddhists initially
did not make any attempt to escape from their murderers. They accepted
death with an air of fatalism and destiny. And hence they are not
around today to tell their story. – History of Jihad.org

We may never know the numbers of dead.

After Muslims came to power in the early 15th century, animist hill
peoples eventually disappeared due to their enslavement and
‘incorporation’ into the Muslim population of Malaya, Sumatra, Borneo,
and Java via raids, tribute and purchase, especially of children. Java
was the largest exporter of slaves around 1500. -- Islam Monitor

In the same manner, Islam arrived in the Philippines. Only the
appearance of the Spanish stopped a total collapse, and confined Islam
to the southern islands.

The coming of the Spanish saved the Philippines from Islam, except
for the Southern tip where the population had been converted to
Islam.-- History of Jihad.org

Again, the number of dead is unknown; but add them to the total.

The animist Filipinos were eager to ally with the Spanish against
Islam. In fact, much of Southeast Asia welcomed the Spanish and
Portuguese as preferable to Islam.

...from the 17th century successive Thai kings allied themselves
with the seafaring Western powers – the Portuguese and the Dutch and
succeeded in staving off the threat of Islam from the Muslim Malays and
their Arab overlords.-- History of Jihad.org

A few galleons and muskets were not enough to conquer Asia. Islam had
made the Europeans initially appear as liberators; and to a certain
extent they were. Who were the real imperialists?

Even today...

...Malaysian Jihadis are plotting to transform multi-ethnic
Malaysia into an Islamic Caliphate, and fomenting trouble in Southern
Thailand.-- History of Jihad.org

Add this all up. The African victims. The Indian victims. The European
victims. Add in the Armenian genocide. Then add in the lesser known,
but no doubt quite large number of victims of Eastern Asia. Add in the
jihad committed by Muslims against China, which was invaded in 651 AD.
Add in the Crimean Khanate predations on the Slavs, especially their
women.

Though the numbers are not clear, what is obvious is that Islam is the
greatest murder machine in history bar none, possibly exceeding 250
million dead. Possibly one-third to one-half or more of all those
killed by war or slavery in history can be traced to Islam; and this is
just a cursory examination.

Now consider the over 125 Million women today who have been genitally
mutilated for Islamic honor's sake. In spite of what apologists tell
you, the practice is almost totally confined to Islamic areas.

New information from Iraqi Kurdistan raises the possibility that
the problem is more prevalent in the Middle East than previously
believed and that FGM is far more tied to religion than many Western
academics and activists admit. – “Is Female Genital Mutilation an
Islamic Problem?” ME Quarterly

Once thought concentrated in Africa, FGM has now been discovered to be
common wherever Islam is found.

There are indications that FGM might be a phenomenon of epidemic
proportions in the Arab Middle East. Hosken, for instance, notes that
traditionally all women in the Persian Gulf region were mutilated. Arab
governments refuse to address the problem. -- "Is Female Genital
Mutilation an Islamic Problem?" ME Quarterly

Remember that this has gone on for 1400 years; and was imposed on a
population that had been formerly Christian or pagan.

FGM is practiced on large scale in Islamic Indonesia; and is increasing.

...far from scaling down, the problem of FGM in Indonesia has
escalated sharply. The mass ceremonies in Bandung have grown bigger and
more popular every year. -- Guardian

The horrified British author of that Guardian article is still deluded
that Islam does not support FGM, when in fact it is now settled that
FGM is a core Islamic practice. Islamic women have been brainwashed to
support their own abuse.

Abu Sahlieh further cited Muhammad as saying, "Circumcision is a
sunna (tradition) for the men and makruma (honorable deed) for the
women." -- “Is Female Genital Mutilation an Islamic Problem?” ME
Quarterly

What other tyranny does this? Not even the Nazis mutilated their own
women!

Unlike the 20th-century totalitarians whose killing fury consumed
themselves, reducing their longevity, Islam paces itself. In the end,
though slower, Islam has killed and tortured far more than any other
creed, religious or secular. Unlike secular tyranny, Islam, by virtue
of its polygamy and sexual predations, reproduces itself and
increases.

Other tyrannies are furious infections, which burn hot, but are soon
overcome. Islam is a slow terminal cancer, which metastasizes, and
takes over. It never retreats. Its methods are more insidious, often
imperceptible at first, driven by demographics. Like cancer, excision
may be the only cure.

So whenever you read about this or that Israeli outrage -- and there
may be truth to the complaint -- place the news in context. Look whom
the Israelis are fighting against. Islam is like nothing else in
history.

Sidenote by Sharon Brunner: Stephen Quayle in Angel Wars: Past, Present, and Future includes information on page 208 about the amount of people killed by the Muslims. It is something that I was not aware of until I read Quayle's book. I find it astounding that a religion supposedly based on peace has such a violent history. The Islam appear to me as lions in sheeps' clothing. They have an amazingly morbid and violent past which appears to be continuing into the present and possibly the future.