Thursday, November 2, 2017

Haunted Holidays


Holidays were established based on mysterious beliefs throughout history. In order to schedule various holiday activities, a calendar had to be created. The first calendar was developed 10,000 years ago in Scotland, first to be used as an agricultural tool when many of the people transitioned from being hunters and gatherers to farmers. The discovery of the calendar was made possible by the discovery of the equal parts of days and nights four times a year which was determined by the equinox. They needed to know when to plant and harvest. If our ancestors did everything right according to the calendar and they did not have a successful crop yield, they thought the gods must be angry. Weather, the shorter and longer days and phases of the moon led to many of the holiday beliefs. Legends fostered many holiday practices. We still want to abide by some of the beliefs to stay in good graces with our divine forces. We went from celebrating holidays, religious and not religious, to celebrating birthdays, death anniversaries, historic events such as 911 and the day JFK was shot. A little cave in Ireland was where the first inkling of a Halloween holiday was born.
            In town called Rosecommon in Ireland there was a cave referred to as the Rafcrocan cave. A rabbit hole served as the first small veil in which spirits could get through the veil. The holiday was referred to as Samhain. The veil was referred to as the Borwigan and it was very thin. Food offerings were provided for the dead. If they were a begger or spirit, still had to feed them. The Celtic cut up turnips as a symbol of this holiday and in the U.S. pumpkins were used because they were more plentiful. The spirits could not go to heaven or hell so the lighting of a jack-o-lantern would help the spirits to cross over. The veil is the thinnest on the evening of October 31st and the day of November 1st. All souls night is November 1st. Things were getting destroyed so trick or treat was developed to prevent the destruction. Our ancestors thought it was better to teach children by using things they feared.

            On a cheerier note, a holiday referred to as “Saturnalia” was created in Rome which was held from December 21-2. All people were considered equal no matter what economic class or position they held. The holiday was celebrated by holding feasts, gift giving and orgies. All the people in Rome were permitted to attend.

            “Dia de Los Muertos” was a Mexican day of the dead. All dead citizens would be honored on this day. Today, it is believed there are more spirits than there were in the past and this is because we are finally looking for them more. This holiday Christianized and changed to honor all former souls. The honoring of the dead made it collectively sacred.

            The fertility goddess “Eustre” was associated with the creation of the first Easter. Christianity introduced Jesus’ resurrection. The belief in the fertility goddess was where our ancestors bought into the belief of associating Easter eggs and candy with the Easter holiday.

            Yuletide celebrations were created for various reasons. The Norse people used candles to keep the darkness away and evergreen leaves were placed over doors to keep bad spirits away. In Scandanavia, everyone was supposed to drank from the same cup. The evergreen was known for its strength to survive harsh winter weather so it was believed to portray special gifts. The upper, middle and lower worlds or realms were honored by specific rituals. When a Yule log was burned the one from last year had to be used to ignite the current year’s log. Different trees were burned such as the pine willow and holly and stood for different beliefs. The nativity was created to honor when Jesus was born. The actual date of Jesus’ birth appeared to be not important. Constantine used Christianity to unify Roman empire in 336 A.D. Soltice was on the 23rd, Christmas Eve was the 24th, and Christmas on the 25th, this gave the Romans more days to party.

            Saint Nicolas was a bishop in Myra, Turkey in 278 A.D.. He came from a wealthy family. Nicolas gave all his wealth away. He decided to help out people with special needs. He decided to celebrate Christmas by giving and sharing. He was honored as a patron saint. The Dutch created Cinder Claus and the U.S. called him Santa Claus. In Germany during the earlier years there was a character named Krampus. December 5th was the day he appeared. He would snatch bad children and eat them. Krumpus had hooves and horns. In Iceland during the Yuletide season, Gryla wanted to eat children, so she would bring the children to the mountain he lived on and put them in her stew. The story “Twas the Night Before Christmas” was written in 1823. Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The Coco Cola company a while ago decided to promote a fat santa with a beard. We must not forget the Grinch. Christmas is celebrated in many different ways all over the world.

            The creation of specific holidays and the celebration of harvests and other special events were made possible by the creation of the calendar. We learned about the solstice and equinox from our ancestors. We know when to plant seeds at optimal times. Our Halloween beliefs were fostered from a small opening in a cave in Ireland to the Norsemen and their superstitions. When you prepare to pass out candy at your door on Halloween, think about why this practice started.

           

           

           




You Know You're a Yooper When.....


1.   A trip to the islands means a trip to Mackinac and Bois Blanc.


2.   You use the Yooper Rule of Apostrophes: dinty = didn't he; shounta = shouldn't have; and wounta = wouldn't have. Gotta love the U.P. Language!

3.   The word "Eh" seems to find its way onto the end of every sentence.

4.   You leave you beers outside to get cold.

5.   You break something and then fix it with duct tape.

6.   You drive to Traverse City to tan on the beaches.

7.   You know what they grow in dat dere Garden Peninsula.

8.   You've ever had a snow day after Mother's Day.

9.   Your county spends more time and money on the snowmobile trails than they do the state highways.

10.The back door to your camp is a fridge door. Bonus points if you stock that fridge.

11.The police backup in a high speed chase is the DNR.

12.You only get channels 6 and 13, and you don't mind.

13.Your camp lacks indoor plumbing and electricity because it's not necessary, but has a stockpile of beer and pork rinds.

14.You know the four spots in the UP where you can't get "Da Bear".

15.You run outside barefoot to check the mail - in February - and don't notice the cold.

16.Your first cousins marry, and it doesn't seem out of the ordinary.

17.Your class valedictorian is a logger.

18.You have four or more broken down vehicles in your yard. Bonus points if they're snowmobiles.

19.Your basic vehicle survival kit consists of blankets, pillows, a shovel, and rock salt.

20.You get inspiration from the movie "Escanaba in da Moonlight" by Jeff Daniels.

21.You think fine dining is a pasty and a Pabst.

22.You have a bumper sticker that says "Say Ya To Da UP."

23.Your school has an 8th grade graduation.

24.You pay the taxes on your camp from the proceeds of beer can returns.

25.You check your bank balance to see if you can afford to buy four pasties from the pasty sale this week.

26.You make your own pasties, because who makes them better??? Nobody!!

27.You plan your vacation around deer season.

28.You use venison hamburger to make chili.

29.Going up north means a hunting trip to Canada.

30.Your neighbor plows your driveway and you pay him back with Yooper currency: a frozen lake trout from your freezer.

31.You only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.

32.You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.

33.You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.

34.You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.

35.Your TrueValue Hardware on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

36.You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

37.Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.

38.You think everyone from the city has an accent.

39.You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

40.You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car... or

41.One of your cars is a Ski-Doo.

42.Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

43.You think the start of deer hunting season is a national holiday.

44.Summer takes place the second week of July (and it still rains!!).

45.You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

46.You find -20°F a little chilly.

47.The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.

48.You attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots.

49.Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout.

50.You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

51.The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

52.Your vocabulary includes the following: da, dis, dat, dees, dem and deirs. Also included is the number "tree."

53.You have a "camp," not a "cottage."

54.You go "fishing out da camp."

55.Your mosquito repellent doubles as your aftershave.

56.You actually get these jokes, and forward them to all your Yooper friends.

Don't know what a Yooper is, eh? Well, first you have to go back to your 4th grade geography class and recall that Michigan is made up of two pennisulas connected by the Mackinac Bridge: a Lower Peninsula that looks like a mitten and an Upper Peninsula that kinda resembles a hunchback jumping rabbit.

No, the Lower Peninsula is NOT called the L.P. for some reason, which means people who hail from the Lower Peninsula are NOT called "Loopers." Instead, they're called "Trolls." They live under the bridge. (Think about it for a while if you don't get it at first. And if you still don't get it, ask someone nearby, that way they'll get to not only laugh at the joke but also at YOU for not getting it!) I'm also told that occasionally they're called "Flatlanders" because much of the Lower Peninsula is as flat as the Great Plains. But that's much more boring than being a Troll.

Source: http://ryansimmons.net/michifun/yooper.html










Discovering Our Cultural Values and Identity


“The point of the journey is not just healing.

It’s also recovering the truest, most

spontaneous, joyful, and

creative core of ourselves.”

Gloria Steinem



We establish a sense of belonging by learning about our cultural roots leading us down a path of discovery. We can meet others who are on the same paths as we are and they can provide us with positive support and encouragement. Sometimes people can be their own worst enemy and do the opposite of what is needed. For example, many Euro-Americans have lost touch with their cultural origins. A person of European descent once said “What about the white people? We left our families of origin to move to this country and forego our cultural ties to the communities we left behind. We have suffered also.”

            Yes, many Euro-Americans did suffer. All of the people in the world resided in some form of tribal community during the distant past. For the sake of becoming mobile societies, a multitude of people have lost valuable connections to their cultural roots. The results of the Aboriginal Healing Project in Canada demonstrated the importance of returning to our cultural heritage. Cultural intervention has been associated with successful healing practices concerning overcoming the harmful effects of historical trauma. 

            Activities aimed at renewing and reviving Native American cultures have contributed to individual, family, and community healing. These activities include Elders’ teachings, storytelling, language programs, activities involving nature, feasts, Pow Wows, learning traditional art forms, harvesting medicines, drumming, singing, and dan-cing. Culture is connected to the collective values and worldviews of all people. Culture is the shared set of beliefs derived from the group’s practice of a shared lan-guage, behaviors, customs and knowledge and a common understanding of reality, history and future for a specific group. Cultural interventions tend to be collective activities and these activities promote a sense of belonging.

Many of us have merely existed in limbo trying to figure out who we are and what is really important to us. Take note about what is important to you and make a list of your values. Explore where these values came from; for example if you know you are of Indian descent, what is the significance as far as your own personal belief system. We need to place importance on our values and to remind ourselves that those who forsake their values to please others pay a high price. Our cultural values strongly repre-sent who we are. We would be hard pressed to find many people who can say they are 100% Native American or any other ethnic group for that matter in this country. The United States is a melting pot of diverse ethnicity. We need to consider other factors as well when questioning our cul-tural values and making the determination about what is important to us. 

The following exercise is designed to help us en-hance our cultural awareness. We can meet with family members and/or work by ourselves to examine responses to the following questions in our effort to explore our own culture:



·         Who took care of us when our mother or caregiver was away from home? At what age were we left alone? At what age were children in our family given responsibility to care for the other children in the family?

·         What form of discipline or punishment did our family use most often? Did this form of discipline effect how we felt about our parents? How so? Were there any kinds of discipline or punishment our parents wouldn't use because they felt it was harmful to us?

·         What were the family rules about meals? Did everyone sit down at the table together? Who cooked? Did our family cook regular meals every day? Could we eat whatever we wanted, when we chose? What kind of food did we eat most?

·         Did our family have different expectations for specific children in the family? Older or younger children? Boys and girls?

·         Who made what kinds of decisions in our family? Which were made by our mother, our father, or other family members? Any joint decisions? What influence was there from extended family, grand-parents, others living in the home? What decisions were children permitted to make for themselves?

·         Who did our family turn to for help and support in times of need or trouble? Did we help ourselves?  Did we turn to immediate or extended family? Did our family have a wide range of extended family and friends? A church group? A community? Did we turn to professional helpers such as a plumber, electrician, counselors, and/or the bank for exam-ple?

·         Did adults other than our parents care for us for a period of time or have a strong influence on our development? How did we feel about being cared for by people other than our parents? What was our relationship with relatives? What part did aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, non-blood family members play in our lives?

·         What were our family's values and beliefs con-cerning the following:

Respecting our Elders

Formal education

Finances, money, and the importance of money and success

Rites of passage

Religion and spirituality

Codes of Conduct

The role of reciprocity (a mutual interchange of        favors and privileges)

Appreciation for diversity (learning valuable            lessons from other cultures)

The major life goals our families had for us

·         What family values and patterns of behavior do we still adhere to and which have we changed (Institute for Human Services, 2008)?



            The practice of cultural interventions cannot be considered the entire part of our healing, but it will open the door to more intensive healing by creating a sense of identity, pride, and belonging. It can lead to developing a better sense of underlying values such as wholeness and balance. Healing is sacred and there are various forms of cultural practices that may enhance our healing process.

            Ways in which to explore our cultural heritage may include meeting with other family members and ask what ethnic groups our family came from before coming over to this country if we are not only of Native American descent. If you are of Indian descent, again meet with elders, attend cultural events such as Pow Wows and read books about the Indian and other cultures you may be connected. Again, many of us have several lines of descent from European, Native American to Asian.  Explore your heritage by using the internet. Your exploration and discovery of your cul-tural values and identity will prove to be very rewarding.

Sunday, October 1, 2017

The History of Indian Boarding Schools


Total control of the Indian children’s education was viewed as the most feasible option to achieve encompassing assimilation and the adaptation of a perceived “civilized” lifestyle for Native Americans. The govern-mental officials believed the children’s separation from their families would reduce their families’ influence and further the assimilation process. Some Indian people managed to survive with little to no repercussions. For the majority of Indian people, the boarding school initiative made more of a negative impact than all other efforts to destroy the Indian people either intentionally or unintentionally, including armed forces, starvation, disease, loss of land, and Christianity.

            The outcome of this legislation was a vulnerable population laced with disease, death, poverty, and other social ills, such as rates of domestic violence, alcoholism, child abuse and neglect higher than any other sectors of the population. [i] Ongoing cultural oppression, health dis-parities and a lack of access to services and economic opportunity coupled with chronic poverty, have depleted hope for many tribal families. The cumulative effects of chronic stress and unresolved historical trauma have led to an increased risk of developing psychological and behavioral disorders.[ii] The negative impact of the enforced boarding school legislation is still resonating with many Native American families today. 

The concept of the boarding school initiative began in 1875 when Richard Henry Pratt was given responsibility of 72 Indian men charged with murder and rapine (the act of seizing property by force) at Fort Marion in St. Augustine, Florida. During their stay, these prisoners served as laborers to offset the cost of running the prison. They performed cleaning and maintenance duties. Pratt rehabilitated these men. They adopted the appearance and characteristics of the Euro-American population. These same Indian men were later placed in jobs without guards. Following Pratt’s efforts to rehabilitate the Indian men, the Carlisle Indian Boarding School was established by Pratt with support of the federal government in 1879. The boarding schools were fashioned after the same rehabilitative principles as the prison program, which included the school attendants serving as laborers to offset costs. [iii] 

Two boarding schools and one orphanage opened in Michigan. The Catholic Church opened the orphanage in Baraga in 1887, and Indian children were the primary occupants. The Holy Childhood Boarding School in Harbor Springs opened in 1889. The federal government opened the boarding school in Mt. Pleasant in 1893. Numerous other boarding schools opened in the United States and the Canadian government followed suit, modeling the residential schools after the American boarding schools. 

Boarding schools were run like military camps. Indian children were stringently taught how to follow orders. The children had to fall into formation, march in a straight line, and oftentimes wore military clothing and shoes. During the weekdays, the children attended school sessions. They were taught English, math, history, and geography, usually by Euro-American teachers. Some of the teachers tried to be kind and helpful, but many were cruel.

On average, only a few hours a day were spent in the classroom, and the other portion was spent undertaking assigned tasks. The children received minimal care and education. Students constituted the majority of the labor pool and did most of the meal preparation, building repairs, gardening, caring for livestock, and cleaning.         

Learning how to accomplish these tasks would help prepare them for adulthood in the white man’s world, because the only viable future was a white future. Girls were prepared to work as servants or to become home-makers. Boys were trained in the areas of gardening, repair and maintenance of homes and farms, the running of farms, printing presses, and the building of houses and furniture. Many of the children participated in an outing program in which they were placed in Euro-American homes and expected to do various chores for their room and board. They were forced to change the way they looked and forget their language, customs, and religion. Their loss of identity formed mixed messages about their heritage and about themselves, resulting in contempt for those in power as well as their parents and elders. 

It was a common practice to give the Indian children English names when they attended the boarding schools. In the Native American tribal way of life, one was not permitted to own anything that was provided to them by the Creator. The land, food and other necessities were bestowed to them to use and must be honored. The only thing that could be owned was their given names. Only one person in a village could have a specific name, and this name was derived by spiritual means such as visions, dreams and naming ceremonies. Names provided their identity throughout their lifetime. When English names were given to the children in the boarding schools as a part of the assimilation process and the loss of their given names led to identity confusion. 

Children who attended the boarding schools suffered from various types of abuse. Concerning sexual abuse, one woman reported she spent years in therapy until she finally grasped the fact she had been a victim. The shame and guilt she experienced as a result of the sexual abuse she was forced to endure at the hands of a priest at the Holy Childhood Boarding School caused her chronic emotional stress into adulthood.

Nuns would maintain relationships with young boys and these young boys would become confidants for these women. Mentally healthy women in their 30s or 40s do not fall in love with boys who are 10, 11 or 12 years of age.    Pedophiles work in a way that does not permit children to refuse. It is cunning, measured, and done under the pretext of fondness. These children were used as sexual outlets. Once the sexually deviant person tired of the current victim, they dumped them and preyed on other unsuspecting children. Victims often felt abandoned. Children could not escape from their perpetrators. They had no one to turn to and they were held captive because these institutions became their prison. [iv]

Another report involved nuns at the Holy Childhood Boarding School who began their seduction by kissing the younger boys good night. One of the abusive nuns was in her 20s, rather plain and chubby. The favored boys would get kissed on the lips and she would tickle them.  One of the people who attended the school stated that a few years went by for him until the kisses started getting longer and longer, and then he was taken to her bedroom. The boys were not expected to perform sexual acts until they were approximately 12 years of age.

One day, after aforementioned person was pulled off the playground and forced to perform sexual acts, he and a pedophile nun were caught in a compromising position by other nuns, yet the perpetrator did not receive any retribution.[v]  The children were habitually exposed to “institutionalized pedophilia” and “sexual terrorism.” The pedophiles included, but were not limited to, priests, nuns, and Protestant clergy.

The religious instruction that was provided added to the confusion and degradation of many Indian children. Oftentimes, they were abused in various ways by the very same people who were providing religious instruction. Children who demonstrated resistance to the teaching practices and the regimented authority were subjected to humiliation and harsh punishments. They suffered whippings and unusual torture such as standing on their tiptoes with arms outstretched while their hands were hit with wooden boards and rulers. The treatment of boys was typically more severe than that of girls. Ruthless punishment occurred when children tried to run away, although this did not deter many from attempting to do so.

Former students who attended the Holy Childhood Boarding School reported about some of the harsh treatments that occurred at that school. An excessive amount of emotional abuse was inflicted on these children. Jennifer was beaten with a rubber hose when she wet the bed or was forced to wear the urine-soaked sheets in front of her peers. Tim reported that he was called a “dirty savage” by staff at the Holy Childhood, which led to problems concerning the understanding of his own identity and as a result he struggled with self-esteem issues. Kent witnessed children at the Holy Childhood who were beaten if they spoke their native language. 

When the children first arrived at the school, they felt lonely and isolated and as a result many suffered from homesickness. Most children who attended these institutions were separated from their family before they were developmentally mature. The boarding schools were often one hour or further from the children’s homes. Before 1957, Indian children who lived in St. Ignace, Michigan had to be taken across Lake Huron on a barge and then transported by car to Harbor Springs, Michigan. The Mackinac Bridge was built in 1957, which eliminated the use of the barge system. The expense of travel was more than most Indian families could afford, which deterred them from visiting their children. In 1924, the Native American per capita annual income was approximately $81.[vi]

Prior to the 1920s, boarding school officials would have to seek preapproval from the local reservation superintendent or an Indian agent before permission could be granted for children to go home, even for severe hardship, such as deaths in the family and sick relatives.  Indian parents learned to get around these sanctions by stating that their children were needed to assist with farming. Since farming was a part of the assimilation process, it served as a more worthy excuse. When John Collier filled the position as Commissioner of Indian Affairs in 1933, these policies took a turn for the better.  Students were permitted to go home for the summer months and usually for family hardships.

Indian children developed alliances with each other and looked after one another while attending these institutions. Many of the children had never met Indian people from other tribes. They also practiced pan-Indianism, which involved the learning and adopting of portions of languages and cultures from other tribal communities. Friendships were often formed, some lasting their lifetimes. They made fun of the teachers and gave them names the students felt best suited their personalities.     On occasion, they snuck out at night together and did things they knew were forbidden activities, such as breaking into buildings on and off school property.  Sports, choirs, bands, and dances were other ways long lasting friendships were developed and ways in which the children maintained their sanity. Sharing the common experience of attending boarding schools was another way in which life long bonds were established.

When a child was sent to bed without a meal, the other children would often sneak them food. The children experienced what could be referred to as slow, agonizing starvation. School officials were allotted very limited funding, which served as a strong indication of the lack of importance concerning Indian children.

During the 1920s, the Meriam report revealed the lack of fresh food and milk for boarding school residents in the United States. This report involved an investigation concerning failed U.S. Indian policies in various areas such as education. The average per capita food allowance was 11 cents per day. As a result, students suffered from malnutrition because of the shortage of food. The Meriam report suggested 35 cents per day for each student. This would ensure proper nutrition and adequate food supply.           The recommendations put forth by those who conducted the Meriam study were often ignored. On another note, during the time the Meriam team was observing some of the boarding schools, they made notice of the extreme levels of quietness. Episodes of intermingling and comfortable conversations were non-existent. [vii]

Disease also ran rampant in the boarding schools with tuberculosis being one of the most serious. Measles, mumps, influenza, and trachoma, a disease that inflicted the eyes, were other health maladies. Often, the parents were not informed about their children’s illnesses. Children with these diseases and healthy students were kept together at the schools. Overcrowding was another issue. These schools were often filled to capacity and beyond. Due to the lack of medical services and poor diets, the children often died as a result of contracting diseases.

Neglect is another form of oppression in which a person is deprived of love, care, nurturance, support, or other pertinent assistance, as well as basic material needs such as food, shelter, and clothing. The children were provided shelter and clothing; however, their other needs were grossly neglected. They often experienced failure to thrive. As a result, many Indian people associated these institutions with death and despair. 

The boarding school experience did prepare children to communicate with the English-speaking popu-lation. A high percentage of the attendees had a difficult time returning to their home of origin. Their difficulty of fitting in with their families was partially due to the biased instruction they received at the school, as well as the lack of bonding with their families because of their long absences. Much of the native language was lost, along with many of the traditional customs. Many boarding school attendees did not return to the tribal communities.

A vast number of Indian children were released from the boarding schools when they were ready to attend high school. After spending years of following the stringent rules at the schools, they had to try and fit in with their families and the outside world. They were not taught how to think for themselves.

Teenagers are known to have difficulty making smart choices. During the late teens, the brain begins to develop its prefrontal cortex and inferior cortex, the areas that supervise judgment and self-control. This process is not completed until the mid-twenties. As a result, teenagers and young adults are subject to making bad judgments, lack inhibitory control, and experience a likelihood of developing addictive behaviors. These susceptibilities can be lessened if they receive caring support. 

Many of the teenagers who left these institutions were not welcomed by their families. The years of separation and the vast differences these attendees had with their families caused them to feel alienated and the needed support and guidance was nonexistent. A large number of Native American people are living with regrets that resulted from making poor choices when they were teenagers and young adults. Many Indian people married individuals who mirrored the caregivers at these institutions and ended up in loveless relationships and/or divorce. Again, the negative impact of these harsh environments resonates throughout tribal communities today.

Many of these students joined the white population and were acculturated into their way of life. They worked at jobs on farms or in towns. Some moved to the urban areas and others were hired by the boarding schools as teachers, cooks, and caretakers. Some of the students were grateful for learning trades taught at the schools. Jeff, a former student who attended the federal boarding school in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan, learned how to be barber while he was attending the school, which brought him money when he was in the armed service. He was hired by his peers to cut their hair while he served his country. The school gave him the confidence to tackle things such as his former job as a meteorologist, which was also a part of his career path.   Jeff still carried resentments towards his father for letting him down as a child, because his father had a drinking problem. Jeff felt his father was not a good provider. The family went without their basic needs being met such as food and adequate housing. His family was forced to move to the reservation and the housing was substandard. 

Jeff did not like the “outing program,” as he re-ferred to it. The outing program associated with the federal boarding school in Mt. Pleasant involved being forced to live with a family and work for them to earn his room and board after he left the school during his early teenage years. Jeff wanted to go to school instead of being forced to work. Jeff believed the school afforded better housing, regular meals, and future job opportunities.



[i] Child, B. (2000). Boarding School Seasons: American Indian Families, 1900-1940. Nebraska: University of Nebraska Press, 43.
[ii] Reyhner, J. and Eder, J. (2004).  American Indian Education: A History.  Oklahoma: University of Oklahoma Press, 134-140.
[iii] Archuleta, M. Child, B., and Lomawaima, T. (2000).  Away from Home: American Boarding School Experiences 1897-2000.  Arizona: Heard Museum.
[iv] Stanton, A. (July 7, 2008).  Northern Express. Unholy Childhood. Retrieved on October 2, 2014 from http://www.northernexpress.com/editorial/features.asp?id=3240
[v] Churchill, W. (2004). Kill the Indian, Save the Man. California: City Lights Books, 62.
[vi] Child, B. (2000). Boarding School Seasons: American Indian Families, 1900-1940. Nebraska: University of Nebraska Press, 45.
[vii] Ibid, 32.

Chapter X: Life on the Rez

Family Myths and Distortions


Family myths and distortions serve as a smoke screen in hopes of keeping others from knowing the reality of what is really going on in our lives. These myths and distortions are used to hide abuse and cover up specific information about relationships within the family. You’ve heard about the families in which the woman is chasing her husband in the front yard swinging a frying pan. Their problems are aired in public for the world to see.  However, that is not usually the case. There is a lot of shame associated with abuse. If we tell ourselves something enough times it be-comes reality. It is important to conduct a reality check.      We need to take off the rose colored glasses. I was attending conference and the key speaker was Claudia Black. The topic addressed at the conference concerned the plight of adult children of alcoholics. A person sitting next to me made reference to her childhood as being perfect. Claudia Black invited anyone who believes they had the perfect childhood to come to the front of the room and that belief would be challenged. There is no such thing as a per-fect childhood. We are imperfect beings raised by imperfect beings. Again, it is vital for us to view our past by utilizing an honest approach. 

To begin the process of seeing our families as it really was and is, take the view from an advantageous position of an outsider and how they would view our family. Many of us carried the belief that our parents were supposed to be kind and loving even if those perceptions were not real. We need to take off the rose colored glasses as mentioned earlier and realize we were born to parents who had to contend with their own baggage. Some of those bags were really heavy. 

We need to take the time to explore our lives and the lives of our families of origin. Here are some things to ponder:



·         Describe our families as if we were seeing our family from the perspective of someone else who lived in our community.

·         What is the true story of our families?

·         How did it feel to examine the true story about our families?

·         Why do we think we felt this way?

·         We need to consider who taught us these myths? Were we permitted to talk about the problems our family was facing?

·         What was the intention of this myth?  What was it meant to accomplish? 

Who or what was the myth and distortion suppose to protect?

·         How has this myth or distortion affected our lives?  We may pursue relationships that are destructive because we have not established a firm grasp of our family of origin.

·         Develop a positive outcome as a result of realizing the myths or distortions concerning our families. For example, our self-esteem has been more enhanced due to our journey of healing and as a result we are able to have a healthier relationships (Copeland and Harris, 2000).

 

There are so many families existing in a continuum of abuse while at least one of the parents is a pillar of the community. A lot of the priests, who were written about by Podles in Sacrilege: Sexual Abuse in the Catholic Church, were pillars in the community. Community members were aware of the honorable services they provided for the community and were not aware of their pedophile tendencies. There have been times noted of other prominent members of communities who were being abusive to their own children. In the public eye they are honored for their positions such as serving in roles of surgeons and clergy. Who is going to believe someone who is saying they have been abused by such an outstanding member of a com-munity?

Family myths and distortions are useful tools for hiding things we feel shame about from the rest of the world in an effort to conceal the ugly truth about our current and past relationships. Many of us have done so to try to fit in some place away from the abusive situation. Legislation is more readily enforced concerning child abuse, neglect and domestic violence. No one deserves, no matter what the circumstances are, to be abused and used in sick ways. It is important to conduct a reality check of our current and past experiences in order to heal from these circumstances.

From Victim to Thriver


An important goal when addressing historical trauma is to move from the victim role to thriving. The terms victim and survivor are often used interchangeably. There are vast differences between the terms. The terms victim, survivor, and thriver feature distinctions as follows:

Victim:

State of helplessness

Angry

Hoping to be rescued

Perception of lacking choices

Self-pity

Complacent

Identities self as a victim

In pain and feeling numb

Experiencing feelings of defeat

Avoidance of feelings

Controlled by traumatic memories

Controlled by depression, anxiety, hatred, bitterness, revenge, and physical complaints

Has not learned from the experience, likely to repeat trauma occurrences, and victimization

Feelings of shame and self-dislike

Self-destructive addictions



Survivor:

Beginning to feel stronger

Perception that there are resources and choices

Recognition of personal potential to change and grow

Living one day at a time; coping from day to day; present life is primary focus

Beginning to heal

Living moderately well

Suffering begins to lessen

Neutral about life; not depressed, but not happy

Realization of traumatic experience(s) existing in the past.

Removed ourselves from possible abusive situations



Thriver:



Committed to positive growth

Planning for the future with optimism

Active

Self-determined

Can experience joy

Established healthy self-esteem; and we see ourselves as valuable people

Reaching out to others

Have found meaning and purpose in life

Experience positive growth as a result of the trauma.

Can endure remaining anxiety based symptoms with relative comfort and/or acceptance

Guilty feelings have been resolved

Generally satisfied with life

Perception that we have moved beyond the trauma and have learned valuable lessons (Shiraldi, 2000).


Friday, September 22, 2017

Discovering Life Satisfaction through Volunteering


            “Everyone has a purpose in life… a unique gift or 
special talent to give others.  And when we blend 
unique talent with service to others, we experience
the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit,
which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”
Deepak Chopra

Strong, healthy communities are built by everyone doing their part to make the community successful.  At the same time we can reap the benefits derived from volunteering. Studies have shown that people who volunteer are more satisfied with their lives. Even if we are struggling with unresolved trauma, it is extremely therapeutic to help others. Volunteering removes us from getting caught up in the thoughts and actions that may be causing us grief. Most of us are busy with families and jobs; but we can take the time to make a difference. Perhaps volunteer activities can be conducted with loved ones as a way of spending time with them. When we help someone else find something to smile about, our whole world will get a little bit brighter. 

            Tips for Getting Started with Volunteering:

            First we need to ask ourselves if there is something we want to do, to learn more about and are there positive changes we want to make for our communities. We can start our preparation for volunteering by asking what we want to accomplish by exploring the following options:

·         Make improvement to our environment. This may involve garbage pick up on the streets by our homes or volunteering in scouting.

·         To meet interesting people.

·         To try something new.

·         To do something we are good at. Perhaps we are good at organizing so we can help with organizing some fundraising events.

·         To explore a type of work we may seek as a full time job at a later date.

·         To do more with our interests and hobbies. We may like to be artistic so we may volunteer to help elders or disabled individuals with art projects.

·         To see a different way of life and new places.  Perhaps we could volunteer at homeless shelter.  

The best way to begin our volunteer experience is to match our personality and interests with the volunteer activities that are available. There are a multitude of volunteer opportunities available in every community. The key is to find the activity we are capable of doing and would enjoy doing. It is also important that our commitment matches the organization’s needs. 

We need to ask ourselves the following questions:

·         What skills can we bring to the organization?

·         How much responsibility are we willing or can we take on?

·         What causes are important to us? 

·         How much time are we willing to commit?

·         Do we want to be behind the scenes or in a more visible role?

            A whole host of advantages are associated with volunteering:

·         Volunteering connects us with others and we will make new friends and contacts. One of the best known benefits of volunteering is the positive impact on the community. We meet all kinds of people and can experience a sense of belonging. It’s a two way street. It can benefit us and our family as much as the cause we are helping. Our social skills will be boosted along with an enhancement of our social and support network. We are exposed to people with similar interests, community resources, and fulfilling experiences.

·         Volunteering is good for our minds and bodies. 

o   Volunteering increases self-confidence, self-esteem and life satisfaction. When we are doing good things for others and the community, we are providing ourselves with a sense of accomplishment. We are provided with a sense of pride and identity. The better we feel about ourselves, the more we will have a positive view of our lives and what lies in our future. 

o   Volunteering can combat depression. A key negative component of depression is social isolation. With volunteering, we are in contact with others on a regular basis and it helps us develop a support system. This in turn can protect us from additional harmful stress during challenging times.

o   Volunteering may help us stay or get physically fit. Studies have demonstrated that those who volunteer have a lower mortality rate than those who do not.  Volunteering has also been shown to lessen the symptoms of chronic pain and heart disease. We need to get off the couch, away from the television and out into the world. 

o   Volunteering as a family can have a whole host of benefits. Children watch what adults do and if we are involved in the community and helping others, they may be more likely to follow in our footsteps. We can demonstrate how our efforts to help others and the community are worthwhile and makes a difference. It is a way to enact change. It is also a great way to get to know about community resources and expand our family’s connections within the community.

·         We are provided opportunities to learn or develop new skills. We may discover something we are really good at and we may develop a new skill. It is never too late to learn new skills and learning needs to be ongoing throughout our lifetime. Planning and implementing a fundraising event can develop our goal setting, budgeting, and planning skills. Supervising and training other volunteers may assist us with developing supervisory and training skills.  Painting a mural or making posters or banners to advertise community events may lead us to discover our artistic abilities. All in all, with volunteering we may enhance these important skills: problem solving; communication; teamwork; project planning; task management; and organization. 

·         Volunteering can enhance our career opportunities. All the skills mentioned above can lead to being a better employee for any organization and to top things off we will possibly get our foot in the door with specific organizations. Organizations will recognize our talents and willingness to be a part of a team and may consider us for positions within their organizations.

·         Volunteering brings fun and fulfillment to our lives. It provides us with a way to explore our interests and passions. Volunteering can afford us with opportunities to get a break from the day to day responsibilities and can give us a chance to renew or rekindle our creativity, motivation, and vision that can spill over into our personal and professional life. People with a desk job may volunteer to help maintain a hiking trail in order to give them an opportunity to get outside. 

Most of us have busy lives; but we need to do our part for our communities. The benefits of volunteering are colossal.  I have met a lot of great people because of my volunteering activities and there were so many times in which I felt my assistance has been needed. I have learned a lot also. We all have time we can spare.  By turning off the television for a few extra hours a week or other ways in which we are wasting time, we can do so much more for ourselves and our communities.