Simplifying
our lives is a matter of choice. By
simplifying we assert more control over our lives: choosing health, order and contentment; and
discarding clutter and confusion.
Getting rid of things we no longer need helps us discover what we
actually have and strengthens us emotionally.
Oddly enough many technological advances were created to simplify our
lives. Compare the past with the
present. Look at the wringer washing
machines and the more modern washing machines of today which do the work for us
instead of feeding the laundry through the wringers to get out the stains and
dirt. Everybody would like to earn more
money so we can relax and participate in more recreational
activities. Provisions for old age such
as retirement funds along with technology, bureaucracy, and other things in
this complicated world were created to simplify our lives and create more
happiness. However, in many cases we
have lost sight of the good intentions.
The way of simplification does not
mean going back in time. We can reduce
sensory overload from our highly technological world by:
·
Establishing
periods of silence.
·
Spending
time alone each day.
·
Spending
time with nature.
Our simplification journey includes
examining things within and in front of us.
The way of simplification involves our experiences and our past
mistakes. The journey goes from the outside to the inside, from our desk at
work or work area, our homes, organization of our time to our relationships
with friends and family. The process
involves our physical and mental fitness. And it ends with our thoughts and
feelings associated with our own personal lives and personalities.
We can start our simplification
process by viewing the steps of our simplification journey as a pyramid placing
the things at the bottom of the pyramid which need to be addressed first. To begin this process we need to examine our possessions. Statisticians have discovered that on
average we own approximately 10,000 things.
This number may fluctuate considerably.
We can start with our desk at work and discover how satisfied we are going to feel
when our paperwork is in order. Then
move onto our closets, the rest of our home, our garage, and our car. I usually use this method when sorting out my
closets, if I haven’t worn it in a year get rid of it.
When I reviewed the book “How to
Simplify Your Life: Seven Practical Steps to Letting Go of Your Burdens and
Living a Happier Life” by Tiki Kustenmacher, I started sorting and getting rid
of a lot of things in my home. I am an
author and adjunct professor so I primarily work out of my home so my home is
my office and it was somewhat cluttered.
As part of my simplification journey I went through college papers,
books, along with other things I was no longer using and got rid of a lot. This
felt like a cleansing process for me. Clutter can definitely add to the
confusion and dissatisfaction in our lives,. Give things that
you feel can benefit others to second hand stores. That can also feel gratifying.
Next we need to look at our finances
which may be more difficult to deal with then cleaning up the clutter in our
homes Examine our budget by looking at
our debts and loans and review our learned behavior patterns and mental blocks associated
with our finances. Check account
balances. Do we have a system for saving
and spending that allows us to feel the ease of having a surplus for rainy
days. Start with our children at a young
age and direct them to save one-third of their allowance, spend a third on
wants, and give a third to a worthwhile charity. Even the poorest of the poor have something
to give even if it is just their time.
Helping others is the best way to help ourselves.
Our time is even a more difficult commodity
to gain control over. Everybody has 24
hours each day; but the real issue is just how much of that time is free to do
whatever we need and want to do. There
are also daily responsibilities and sometimes a secret passion. My secret passion involved watching too much
television. I had to learn how to limit
the time I wasted watching television. Another
passion of mine is reading and television viewing definitely made an impact on
my reading time. We can create order concerning our time. We can do so by establishing a schedule to
log our time spent on things we need and want to accomplish.
I mentioned earlier that we need to feel all
the feelings associated with traumatic events;
but
we need to limit our time spent mourning.
I usually give myself an hour to grieve by crying and feeling all the pain
from a specific horrible experience and then I move on to other more enjoyable
activities. Otherwise, those stressful
feelings can take over our lives. Our
time is a precious possession we cannot get back once it is wasted so we need
to come up with a plan of action to organize our time more effectively. The
best way to address patterns in which we waste our valuable time is to make
ourselves aware of these patterns. We
can examine our use of time by asking ourselves how much time we spend each day
in:
·
Eating
·
Sleeping
·
Exercising
·
Meaningful
work
·
Spiritual
growth
·
Renewal
activities (recreation, reading)
·
Sharing
with friends and other significant others
·
Routine
maintenance (house cleaning, cooking, repairs, etc.)
·
Social
service (volunteering and helping others)
·
Other
We can ask do we allow enough time to
exercise, renewal, and spirituality or are we consumed with working and
maintenance activities. Carefully examine the other category. What else have we been doing? Are there some things we can delegate,
eliminate or in some way simplify? Is
there anything missing in our lives?
Make room for these things by scaling down. We need to think of ourselves as a home and
what changes can we make to our home to make it more beautiful. In other words, what can we do to live more
balanced lives?
All our relationships including the
relationship with ourselves take up our time.
To simplify our conversations we need to ask ourselves:
·
Am
I communicating honestly and do I mean what I say? Is it my intention to feed my ego?
·
Do
I listen to others and am I aware of their body language as well as what they
are saying.
·
Do
I avoid worthless speech including gossip, and idle chit chat.
·
Do
I respect the importance of silence in my life and concerning my interactions
with others? We need to listen to others
and weigh their opinions and come up with our own decisions.
The social networks in our lives can
become the source of an overly complicated life. Personal demands, disagreements, harassments,
and jealousy are some of the destructive results. Even relationships which are on friendly
terms can become complicated, especially if you let them take over our lives
and if we are available to others at the expense of taking care of our own
needs. I can relate to this
phenomenon. Others could count on me to
take care of their needs from cleaning their homes to listening to their
problems. I discovered I had a lot of
unmet needs when I fell into a deep depression due to Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder. During that time, the very
people I helped so much abandoned me when I needed them. You can imagine how
much I learned from that experience.
Examine the non-mutual relationships in
your life. They can suck the life out of
you literally and there will be no paybacks, only deficits. Be careful not to
build up a huge resentment debt with specific individuals. I had to work very hard with forgiving them
which I needed to do for my own recovery.
I am not telling you to not help others; but don’t invest too much time
with people who only take from us when a mutual relationship can take place and
be more satisfying.
Many of us have life partnerships
with spouses and/or significant others which may include close friendships
also. View how much outside interests
and employment are impeding this relationship.
Perhaps a significant other may involve our spiritual connections, our
beliefs in a higher power. All of these relationships are vital to our
well-being. Developing a time schedule for accomplishing what we need and want
to do will help us accomplish the goal of maintaining a healthy and
satisfactory relationship with significant others. When establishing this time
schedule, make sure to schedule time with our significant others.
Our physical health is one of our
most personal possessions. For most of
us we only pay attention to our health if something is not working properly. When we become ill we push aside all other
pertinent issues in our lives. However,
it is more important we take steps to prevent future illnesses by taking the
time to exercise and eat nutritious foods.
The way to simplify our lives is to prevent future health problems. We can learn to develop a healthy coexistence
of our minds and bodies. Healthy
thoughts lead to healthier bodies along with an improved lifestyle of eating
right and exercising.
Last but certainly not least and the
peak of the pyramid is a place in which we discover our unique character. This is the entrance to our life’s goal, our
life’s purpose. This room is not empty,
it is filled with our unmistakable personality.
We will achieve so much more when we reverse the escalation of
complexity. Simplifying our lives can clear our vision, frees us from false
values, and brings us greater life satisfaction. Reducing the amount of things
in our lives and becoming more conscious of how we use the things we have
creates more peace individually and collectively. Reduce material things by at
least half instead of accumulating more.
We get rid of junk instead of letting it pile up. We learn to relax instead of becoming more
stressed out. We slow down instead of
speeding up.
I had to let go of a lot of things in
my life. I gave up belonging to an
organization that I was a part of for 23 years with most of those years serving
as a volunteer when the management of said organization was placing more and
more responsibilities on me. This was done at the risk of losing a friendship;
however, it was vital I let go of this huge responsibility. I only engage with the people who took
advantage of me in the past at the level in which I want and decide to be
involved. I schedule time each day to
meditate, and exercise. My diet is planned with nutritious foods primarily. I discovered during my healing journey that
writing this book was part of my life’s purpose. Even the smallest of our actions have
consequences, contributing to the evolving cycles that surround us. A balanced life takes discipline. We can live our lives the way we choose. We
can obtain and maintain a more simplified life, one that is filled with more
happiness.
