Simplify

Simplifying our lives is a matter of choice.  By simplifying we assert more control over our lives:  choosing health, order and contentment; and discarding clutter and confusion.  Getting rid of things we no longer need helps us discover what we actually have and strengthens us emotionally.  Oddly enough many technological advances were created to simplify our lives.  Compare the past with the present.  Look at the wringer washing machines and the more modern washing machines of today which do the work for us instead of feeding the laundry through the wringers to get out the stains and dirt.  Everybody would like to earn more money so we can relax and participate in more recreational activities.  Provisions for old age such as retirement funds along with technology, bureaucracy, and other things in this complicated world were created to simplify our lives and create more happiness.  However, in many cases we have lost sight of the good intentions.

          The way of simplification does not mean going back in time.  We can reduce sensory overload from our highly technological world by:

·         Establishing periods of silence.
 

·         Spending time alone each day.

·         Spending time with nature.

          Our simplification journey includes examining things within and in front of us.  The way of simplification involves our experiences and our past mistakes. The journey goes from the outside to the inside, from our desk at work or work area, our homes, organization of our time to our relationships with friends and family.  The process involves our physical and mental fitness. And it ends with our thoughts and feelings associated with our own personal lives and personalities. 

          We can start our simplification process by viewing the steps of our simplification journey as a pyramid placing the things at the bottom of the pyramid which need to be addressed first.  To begin this process we need to examine our possessions. Statisticians have discovered that on average we own approximately 10,000 things.  This number may fluctuate considerably.  We can start with our desk at work and discover how satisfied we are going to feel when our paperwork is in order.  Then move onto our closets, the rest of our home, our garage, and our car.  I usually use this method when sorting out my closets, if I haven’t worn it in a year get rid of it. 

          When I reviewed the book “How to Simplify Your Life: Seven Practical Steps to Letting Go of Your Burdens and Living a Happier Life” by Tiki Kustenmacher, I started sorting and getting rid of a lot of things in my home.  I am an author and adjunct professor so I primarily work out of my home so my home is my office and it was somewhat cluttered.  As part of my simplification journey I went through college papers, books, along with other things I was no longer using and got rid of a lot. This felt like a cleansing process for me. Clutter can definitely add to the confusion and dissatisfaction in our lives,. Give things that you feel can benefit others to second hand stores.  That can also feel gratifying. 

          Next we need to look at our finances which may be more difficult to deal with then cleaning up the clutter in our homes  Examine our budget by looking at our debts and loans and review our learned behavior patterns and mental blocks associated with our finances.  Check account balances.  Do we have a system for saving and spending that allows us to feel the ease of having a surplus for rainy days.  Start with our children at a young age and direct them to save one-third of their allowance, spend a third on wants, and give a third to a worthwhile charity.  Even the poorest of the poor have something to give even if it is just their time.  Helping others is the best way to help ourselves.

          Our time is even a more difficult commodity to gain control over.  Everybody has 24 hours each day; but the real issue is just how much of that time is free to do whatever we need and want to do.  There are also daily responsibilities and sometimes a secret passion.  My secret passion involved watching too much television.  I had to learn how to limit the time I wasted watching television.  Another passion of mine is reading and television viewing definitely made an impact on my reading time. We can create order concerning our time.  We can do so by establishing a schedule to log our time spent on things we need and want to accomplish. 

  I mentioned earlier that we need to feel all the feelings associated with traumatic events;

but we need to limit our time spent mourning.  I usually give myself an hour to grieve by crying and feeling all the pain from a specific horrible experience and then I move on to other more enjoyable activities.  Otherwise, those stressful feelings can take over our lives.  Our time is a precious possession we cannot get back once it is wasted so we need to come up with a plan of action to organize our time more effectively. The best way to address patterns in which we waste our valuable time is to make ourselves aware of these patterns.  We can examine our use of time by asking ourselves how much time we spend each day in:

·         Eating

·         Sleeping

·         Exercising

·         Meaningful work

·         Spiritual growth

·         Renewal activities (recreation, reading)

·         Sharing with friends and other significant others

·         Routine maintenance (house cleaning, cooking, repairs, etc.)

·         Social service (volunteering and helping others)

·         Other

          We can ask do we allow enough time to exercise, renewal, and spirituality or are we consumed with working and maintenance activities. Carefully examine the other category.  What else have we been doing?  Are there some things we can delegate, eliminate or in some way simplify?  Is there anything missing in our lives?  Make room for these things by scaling down.  We need to think of ourselves as a home and what changes can we make to our home to make it more beautiful.  In other words, what can we do to live more balanced lives?

          All our relationships including the relationship with ourselves take up our time.  To simplify our conversations we need to ask ourselves:

·         Am I communicating honestly and do I mean what I say?  Is it my intention to feed my ego?

·         Do I listen to others and am I aware of their body language as well as what they are saying.

·         Do I avoid worthless speech including gossip, and idle chit chat.

·         Do I respect the importance of silence in my life and concerning my interactions with others?  We need to listen to others and weigh their opinions and come up with our own decisions.

          The social networks in our lives can become the source of an overly complicated life.  Personal demands, disagreements, harassments, and jealousy are some of the destructive results.  Even relationships which are on friendly terms can become complicated, especially if you let them take over our lives and if we are available to others at the expense of taking care of our own needs.  I can relate to this phenomenon.  Others could count on me to take care of their needs from cleaning their homes to listening to their problems.  I discovered I had a lot of unmet needs when I fell into a deep depression due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  During that time, the very people I helped so much abandoned me when I needed them. You can imagine how much I learned from that experience. 

          Examine the non-mutual relationships in your life.  They can suck the life out of you literally and there will be no paybacks, only deficits. Be careful not to build up a huge resentment debt with specific individuals.  I had to work very hard with forgiving them which I needed to do for my own recovery.  I am not telling you to not help others; but don’t invest too much time with people who only take from us when a mutual relationship can take place and be more satisfying.

          Many of us have life partnerships with spouses and/or significant others which may include close friendships also.  View how much outside interests and employment are impeding this relationship.  Perhaps a significant other may involve our spiritual connections, our beliefs in a higher power. All of these relationships are vital to our well-being. Developing a time schedule for accomplishing what we need and want to do will help us accomplish the goal of maintaining a healthy and satisfactory relationship with significant others. When establishing this time schedule, make sure to schedule time with our significant others.

          Our physical health is one of our most personal possessions.  For most of us we only pay attention to our health if something is not working properly.  When we become ill we push aside all other pertinent issues in our lives.  However, it is more important we take steps to prevent future illnesses by taking the time to exercise and eat nutritious foods.  The way to simplify our lives is to prevent future health problems.  We can learn to develop a healthy coexistence of our minds and bodies.  Healthy thoughts lead to healthier bodies along with an improved lifestyle of eating right and exercising.

          Last but certainly not least and the peak of the pyramid is a place in which we discover our unique character.  This is the entrance to our life’s goal, our life’s purpose.  This room is not empty, it is filled with our unmistakable personality.  We will achieve so much more when we reverse the escalation of complexity. Simplifying our lives can clear our vision, frees us from false values, and brings us greater life satisfaction. Reducing the amount of things in our lives and becoming more conscious of how we use the things we have creates more peace individually and collectively. Reduce material things by at least half instead of accumulating more.  We get rid of junk instead of letting it pile up.  We learn to relax instead of becoming more stressed out.  We slow down instead of speeding up. 

          I had to let go of a lot of things in my life.  I gave up belonging to an organization that I was a part of for 23 years with most of those years serving as a volunteer when the management of said organization was placing more and more responsibilities on me. This was done at the risk of losing a friendship; however, it was vital I let go of this huge responsibility.  I only engage with the people who took advantage of me in the past at the level in which I want and decide to be involved.  I schedule time each day to meditate, and exercise. My diet is planned with nutritious foods primarily.  I discovered during my healing journey that writing this book was part of my life’s purpose.  Even the smallest of our actions have consequences, contributing to the evolving cycles that surround us.  A balanced life takes discipline.  We can live our lives the way we choose. We can obtain and maintain a more simplified life, one that is filled with more happiness.