Friday, June 5, 2015

Obedience School for Human Beings


Obedience School for Humans BEINGS
 

I am opening a obedience school for humans. I will teach them that life is meant to be enjoyed. Students will learn to run in circles as fast as they can (like I do) and enjoy going nowhere. Successful students will love life the way I love a good bone. Students will find that life is better than bacon. (I confess I am still working on that one.) They will grasp the value of being obedient to love instead of power and control.
                Those enrolled will be encouraged to stop thinking about what they do for a living, how much money they make and how many important people they know.
                Each student will discover his or her inner dog. All humans have an inner dog. Every human knows what I am talking about – they just spell it backward and call it their God nature.
                My best students will be excited to hear the wind blow. They will smile when they feel the sun’s warmth touch their skin. They will marvel at a bird’s song and how the waves feel washing over their feet.
                My school will have very few rules. Too many humans already think that life is all about the rules.
                There will be no dogma. Dogma makes the body stiff and the heart cold. My graduates will know the meaning of play and will keep their lives simple enough to enjoy. Graduates will love unconditionally, laugh a lot and smile even more.  

***Pay attention and discover your inner Dog: Life is to be lived. It isn’t all about rules. 

Source: Science of the Mind. May 2015 issue.  (Murphy is referred to as the Human Whisperer – he watches over his human, Rev. Bob Luckin, when he isn’t workingon his column. Send you questions to Murphy@CSL.org. Regretfully he cannot replay to all email.)

Using Humor to Lessen and Manage the Pain


Using Humor to Lessen and Manage the Pain 

“For what had been the hardest
We’d know had been best,
And what had seemed loss would be gain;
For there isn’t a sting that will not take wing
When we’ve faced it and laughed it away;
And I think that the laughter is most what we’re after
In the Land of Beginning Again.”
Louisa Fletcher

The benefits of humor have been researched and the positive outcomes of humor have been well-documented. Humor is one of the most important tools we can use to address almost any issue and is very powerful at removing all the negative stress from our lives from embarrassing moments to illnesses. We may use humor as an escape which can prevent us from processing our pain. Part of coping with the bumps in our lives is to establish a list of happy memories to use when life is difficult. We also have to be careful about sarcasm or “put down” humor. This form of humor is finely camouflaged hostility. Humor works best when it is served on a platter of good intentions.   

            The following are ways in which to bring more humor to our lives: 

·         Being willing to accept our imperfections. When we have to be perfect a form of rigidity usually develops and when we accept that we can be less than perfect this rigidity is transformed into more openness and approachability.
·         Being willing to play. Have fun, that’s what it is all about. I am reminded of the hokey pokey song. “Put your left foot in. Put your left foot out. Put your left foot in and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. That’s what it’s all about.” The people who wrote that song knew what they were talking about. Spend an evening playing games or watching funny videos. Play sports or whatever brings joy into our lives.
·         Not feeling as if we have to be a professional comedian or laugh loudly to bring humor in our lives. At the very least we only need to enjoy a good joke. Humor can also mean noticing the idiosyncrasies in our lives like the funny things our kids or pets do. 
·         Accepting a sense of humor does not have to be an all-or-nothing ability. Sometimes no matter what we do we can’t find where we put our sense of humor. We are allowed to have our up and down days. Our down time will probably diminish and we can be ourselves again. We can be humorous even if we feel we don’t have a sense of humor.
·         Not beating ourselves up if we don’t find too many things funny. Any form of trauma including historical trauma can conceal our sense of humor. For example, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, one of the prominent side effects of historical trauma, can lead us to feeling emotionally numb. It’s difficult to laugh if we are emotionally numb. This is our time to heal and then nurture our sense of humor on our time. 
·         We can use humorous occasions and times when we were very content to pull us out of situations which may have resulted in feeling overwhelmed with negative feelings. If we can’t come up with happy moments, create new happy moments to pull out of our tool box. We may need to borrow some happy moments from a television show or movie. 

View humor as a skill or a hobby that has the potential to become more pleasurable over time. Perhaps we can prepare a humor bulletin board or humor journal. Put things on the bulletin board or enter them in our journal for the times we need humor. Treat humor as if it is a familiar friend who happens to be around when we are in need. We need to be careful not to use humor in an improper manner which may cause harm to others such as sarcasm or put downs. Humor must not be used to avoid the pain we are experiencing. We need to face the pain fully and address it completely, not camouflage it. Humor can be fun and necessary at the same time. 

Historical Trauma


Historical Trauma
“The greater the difficulty,
the greater the victory.”
Cicero

The negative impact of historical trauma is still resonating with many Native Americans today.  A multitude of Indian people suffer from a whole host of maladies such as higher rates of domestic violence, depression along with other mental health issues, poverty, domestic violence, child abuse, child neglect, and substance abuse, more than any other ethnic group in this country. Historical trauma is an accumulation of traumatic experiences which have made a negative impact for multiple generations of Indian people occurring over a long period of time. For over 500 years, physical, emotional, spiritual, and psychological genocide was inflicted on the Native American people.
            Soon after contact of the European colonizers, a period referred to as “cultural transition,” Native Americans were stripped of their social power and cultural authority. As soon as they realized they could not escape the catastrophic events inflicted upon them, they began to adopt “giving up” behavioral patterns. They withdrew socially, which in turn lessened their social and psychological investment in all their relationships, personal and with their communities.
            As a result of the cultural and social disruption, they engaged in destructive behaviors, social alienation and developed serious psychological problems, such as alcoholism, drug addiction, and other forms of displaced re-enactments of conflict. These disparaging behaviors were acquired during the cultural transition period and later during the boarding school period leaving a legacy of recurring dysfunction and disturbing behavioral patterns associated with cultural disruption through acts of genocide and discrimination. 
            Imagine the difficulty many children faced when they were forced to attend the Indian boarding schools. Again, many of these children were sexually, emotionally, spiritually, and physically abused. The overall damage inflicted on the children was tremendous. Many Native Americans who were forced to attend boarding schools and/or reside on reservations were taught that what happened to them was their fault. They were led to believe they deserved to be abused and many have lost the ability to trust themselves or others. Because they had no place to turn for safety, their sense of hopelessness grew over time. They became cynical and fell into the depths of despair. Historical trauma has taken its toll on many Native American people.  

            Historical trauma occurred in six phases: 

·         The first contact with the Europeans which led to a life filled with shock, genocide, no time for grief and then the colonization period which introduced disease and alcoholism. 
·         The second phase was economic competition between various tribes and their European invaders over resources during the fur trading era and the introduction to a market based economy. There were physical and spiritual losses experienced during this time period for the Indian people.
·         The European invasion continued involving a war period which included extermination and refugee associated problems.
·         Next was a conquest and reservation period which consisted of forced dependency on their oppressors and a lack of security.
·         The boarding school era destroyed family systems which involved physical assaults, and sexual abuse, along with prohibition of Native languages, spirituality, and cultural associations. The lasting effect includes individuals poorly prepared for parenting. Many Native American people also experienced identity confusion.
·         The final phase of historical trauma consisted of forced relocation to reservations and a termination period, a period when federally recognized tribal nation status was abolished along with the services associated with this status such as food assistance. Many Native Americans perished due to a lack of food and medical services. There was continued prohibition of religious freedom, racism and discrimination, being viewed as second class citizens to the rest of the population and a loss of a supportive governmental system and a sense of belonging to a community. 

            The following characteristics represent some of the detrimental effects of historical trauma:  

·         Helplessness
·         Injustice
·         A lack of trust
·         Feelings of insufficiency
·         Toxic shame
·         Chronic guilt
·         Feelings of brokenness
·         A lack of healthy boundaries
·         Persistent confusion and frustration
·         Isolation and avoidance
·         Self loathing
·         Impulse control involving alcohol, drugs, eating, and/or spending
·         Maladjusted anger feelings
·         Unhappiness and dissatisfaction
·         Anxiety disorders, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
·         Poor communication skills 

The Native Americans’ cultural development was severely disrupted. Our cultural identity was disrupted by legislation, Christianity and later on by not knowing how to get it back. Today, we experience glimpses of our cultural identity through exposure to events such as Pow Wows and other traditional cultural events, a rare occurrence for far too many. Many of the Indian children who attended the boarding schools came from different tribal entities. However, they were placed in these institutions and treated like they were all the same. Many of these children came from distinctly different cultures. Oftentimes, they did not even share the same native language. This created barriers to establishing a sense of connectedness while attending these institutions. Language in itself is a very important means of communication with others. The ability to communicate in one’s own language as well as the shared commonality of cultural practices was taken away from a multitude of Native American people; thus, creating serious cultural disturbance.  

Cultural disruption has created conditions of:

·         Loss of faith and spiritual beliefs
·         Internalized stereotypes
·         Surviving instead of thriving
·         Cultural isolation
·         Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and other anxiety issues
·         Depression. 

Intergenerational impacts involved a multitude of circumstances such as when the British and French pursued a vast amount of the North American territory and its resources which in turn instilled further rivalry between opposing tribes due to the shrinking of resources. During the fur trading era the relationship between the European entrepreneurs and the Indians occurred under a drunken haze brought on by alcohol for the unsuspecting tribal people. A drunken Indian was easier to steal from and use than a sober one. Indian children were taken from their parents and communities and placed in cruel and unyielding institutions referred to as boarding schools.  Meanwhile, spiritual practices were outlawed so what did the parents of these children do, they turned to alcohol for their source of comfort.
            Acute traumatic events can occur almost anywhere at any time, such as car accidents and natural disasters. Conversely, chronic, long-term trauma occurs only in circumstances of captivity in which the victim or victims are held prisoner. Think about the Native American people who were sequestered to reservations and placed in boarding schools. The children who were forced to attend boarding schools were punished severely if they ran away. As mentioned earlier, physical, psychological and sexual abuse occurred at these institutions on a regular basis. 
            The captivity of the children in the boarding schools set up a situation of prolonged contact with the perpetrators creating a special kind of relationship, one based on coercion. The psychological damage of subordination to coercive control has common features such as diminished self-esteem and depression. The perpetrators such as those in authority at the boarding schools and those placed in control of carrying out the reservation legislation became the most powerful people in the lives of the Indian people. The mindset of the victims is shaped by the beliefs and actions of the perpetrators. Often little is known about what is behind the beliefs and actions of the perpetrator. However, one common denominator is the perpetrators believe they are free from assuming any fault concerning any of their wrongdoings. They place blame of any problems or issues they are facing on the victims. 
One of the most disturbing discoveries was that often the perpetrators appear to be normal to the rest of the world, beyond the abusive environment even though the pathology practiced by the perpetrators was, and is, awful. I have read many sources which portray perpetrators in prominent positions such as doctors and lawyers. The pedophile priests were often in the limelight due to their public acts of generosity and good will. This idea can be deeply troubling to most people. They walk amongst us and we are none the wiser. For example; Adolf Eichmann committed heinous crimes against humanity; however, a dozen psychiatrists diagnosed him as normal. Eichmann served as the main drive behind the holocaust. He organized and managed the arrangements for the deportation of many Jewish people to ghettos and extermination camps.
The perpetrators are often paranoid, and experience feelings of grandiosity, feeling as if they can possess and conquer the world. They are aware of the realities of power and social norms so they can fit in without being noticed. The perpetrators seek out situations in which tyrannical behaviors are tolerated, condoned and/or admired. Hitler set the stage for domination of the Jewish people so I imagine Eichmann’s behaviors were admired by Hitler and Hitler’s devoted followers. The abusive individuals at the boarding schools were able to treat the children as if they were objects undeserving of respect. No one stopped them. 
Recently some of the Catholic pedophile priests have been punished for their heinous acts. Many of those who ran the prisoner of war camps and inflicted harsh treatment on the prisoners had to answer for their crimes. What about the people who wielded the harsh treatment on the children at the boarding schools?  The government made a formal apology for the treatment of the children who attended the residential schools in Canada. There has been no acknowledgement in the United States concerning the harmful acts wielded upon the Native Americans due to the implementation of reservations and boarding schools.
          The perpetrators often demand from their victims respect, gratitude, and sometimes love.  For example, the pedophile nuns at the Holy Childhood Boarding School in Harbor Springs, Michigan, would often create a simulated loving situation with the boys they were having sexual contact with. They would treat the boys as if they were in love with them. Their advances would begin with kissing the boys and then they would bring these boys to their bedrooms to perform sexual acts. Many of the boys felt abandoned when the nuns moved onto other boys.
One of the first goals of the perpetrators is to enslave the victim(s). They do so by controlling all aspects of the victim’s life. But simple obedience demonstrated by the victim is not enough, they move towards gaining the victim’s validation and/or they humiliate the victim in some way. The perpetrators will use the victim’s feelings of shame to gain even more control over them. Often the victims live in constant fear. The children were shown what it was like to not be compliant by observing other children being physically and emotionally abused in front of them at the boarding schools. Many of the Indian children were punished severely in front of their peers if they ran away from these cruel institutions. Many of these children were also punished harshly if they were caught speaking their native language. 
The children were often underfed at the boarding schools and a common punishment involved sending children to bed without dinner. This control results in physical debilitation.  Along with being hungry most of the time, the children were forced to work extremely hard at the schools. They were expected to clean, cook, maintain the grounds, farm, other miscellaneous duties and were expected to also attend school instruction for a few hours a day. These children were exhausted, hungry, and abused. 
Research has been conducted concerning the aftereffects of the trauma faced by veterans of war. The studies involved how the trauma faced by these veterans effect their offspring.  There have been discoveries that the cells within the bodies of the veterans and their offspring contain the memories of the trauma of being on active duty.  Many of the Native American people today are obese and as a result have been diagnosed with diabetes. Could this be the result of their grandparents’ and parents’ starvation when they attended the boarding schools? We often overeat if we don’t have a good relationship with food. If food was scarce for our parents and/or grandparents, we may take on the scarcity way of thinking which was passed down from one generation to the next and as a result overeat. The higher levels of obesity within the Native American population can also be attributed to the quality of food many can afford.
Depression, a result of historical trauma which exists for a multitude of Native Americans, is a common response to oppression. Oppression is the result of an imbalance of power in relationships. Depression equates to a discrepancy in interpersonal relationships and also creates a chemical imbalance. Depression is anger turned inward and it represents unaddressed anger. In other words, depression has arisen in situations in which anger and aggression was suppressed due to fear. A double edged sword is generated consisting of suppression of anger and aggression coupled with chronic resentment. This dilemma contributes to internal stress as well as adding to relationship conflicts that in the end fosters additional stress. 
Oppression is usually evident in abusive interpersonal relationships such as the relationship between the Euro-Americans and Native Americans throughout history; however, an extreme accumulation of stress can also become oppressive, which in turn can lead to a response of defeat. We can feel trapped after experiencing situations that feel inescapable, not just physically but also psychologically. The intrusive symptoms of painful memories and strong emotions can contribute to a sense of oppression. It is possible to have an oppressive relationship with ourselves as a result of past destructive treatment. We may be the target of our own anger, harsh criticism, and unrealistic demands, adopting a defeated and indignant relationship with ourselves. A whole host of problems can result from self-inflicted oppression as well as from the oppression imposed by others.
            The past of Indian children involved censored and restricted communication while they attended the boarding schools. The children were forced to remain quiet and stare straight ahead while they were in the classrooms much like today’s classrooms. They developed a method of communicating with their eyes when outside of the classroom. They could speak volumes with eye contact amongst their fellow peers.  Again, these children were punished, often severely, if they spoke their native language. Speaking became a privilege which could not be practiced for much of the day and into the evening, when they were working on their homework or completing chores. Their communication with their parents through letters was censored. As a result, it is my opinion that many Native American people suffer from vast communication barriers today as a result of Historical Trauma. 
            If Indian children were forced to attend the boarding schools for long periods of time, they discovered that communication with their families of origin was difficult to impossible when they were finally permitted to return to their homes. Trust was one of the main reasons why communication was difficult with their families. They were strangers to their families because they were brainwashed into being something they were not, Euro-American replicas and because of their long stay at these institutions away from their families. Their parents and siblings, who did not have the misfortune of attending these institutions, were worlds apart. These children spoke differently, and often their appearance was dissimilar from the rest of their family. They soon discovered they did not fit with their families of origin, usually shortly after moving back home. Thus, many Native American families were torn apart literally. Living on the fringe of both cultural groups and in the effort to belong somewhere they would participate in activities which brought them even more shame and feelings of despair. All feelings attributed to historical trauma.
Historical trauma has taken its toll on many Native Americans. The weapons of mass destruction against the Indian people for centuries have been; but are not limited to: small pox infestations and other acts of genocide; the introduction of alcohol; broken treaties; forced attendance at boarding schools; enforcement of reservation legislation; and mass sterilization.  It is difficult to determine which losses hurt the Native American people the most. With the vast amount of discrimination, it would be amazing if Indian people have any self-esteem at all. To make matters worse when things are in disarray for Native Americans, blame has often been placed on the victims.