Discovering Life Satisfaction Through Volunteering

 

“Everyone has a purpose in life… a unique gift or

special talent to give others.  And when we blend this

unique talent with service to others, we experience

the ecstasy and exultation of our own spirit,

which is the ultimate goal of all goals.”

Deepak Chopra

 

Strong, healthy communities are built by everyone doing their part to make the community successful.  At the same time we can reap the benefits derived from volunteering. Studies have shown that people who volunteer are more satisfied with their lives. Even if we are struggling with unresolved trauma, it is extremely therapeutic to help others. Volunteering removes us from getting caught up in the thoughts and actions that may be causing us grief. Most of us are busy with families and jobs; but we can take the time to make a difference. Perhaps volunteer activities can be conducted with loved ones as a way of spending time with them. When we help someone else find something to smile about, our whole world will get a little bit brighter.

 

            Tips for Getting Started with Volunteering:

 

            First we need to ask ourselves if there is something we want to do, to learn more about and are there positive changes we want to make for our communities. We can start our preparation for volunteering by asking what we want to accomplish by exploring the following options:

 

·         Make improvement to our environment. This may involve garbage pick up on the streets by our homes or volunteering in scouting.

·         Meet interesting people.

·         Try something new.

·         Do something we are good at. Perhaps we are good at organizing so we can help with organizing some fundraising events.

·         Explore a type of work we may seek as a full time job at a later date.

·         Explore our interests and hobbies. We may like to be artistic so we may volunteer to help elders or disabled individuals with art projects.

·         To see a different way of life and new places. Perhaps we could volunteer at home-less shelter (HelpGuide, 2016) 

 

The best way to begin our volunteer experience is to match our personality and interests with the volunteer activities that are available. There are a multitude of volunteer opportunities available in every community. The key is to find the activity we are capable of doing and would enjoy doing. It is also important that our commitment matches the organization’s needs.

 

We need to ask ourselves the following questions:

 

·         What skills can we bring to the organi-zation?

·         How much responsibility are we willing or can  take on?

·         What causes are important to us? 

·         How much time are we willing to commit?

·         Do we want to be behind the scenes or in a more visible role (Block, 2009)?

 

            A whole host of advantages are associated with volunteering:

 

·         Volunteering connects us with others and we may make new friends and contacts. One of the best known benefits of volunteering is the positive impact on the community. We meet all kinds of people and can experience a sense of belonging. It’s a two-way street. It can benefit us and our family as much as the cause we are helping. Our social skills will be boosted along with an enhancement of our social and support network. We are exposed to people with similar interests, community resources, and fulfilling experiences.

·         Volunteering is good for our minds and bodies. 

o   Volunteering increases self-confidence, self-esteem and life satisfaction. When we are doing good things for others and the com-munity, we are providing ourselves with a sense of accomplishment. We are provided with a sense of pride and identity. The better we feel about ourselves, the more we will have a positive view of our lives and what lies in our future. 

o   Volunteering can combat depression. A key negative component of depression is social isolation. With volunteering, we are in con-tact with others and it may help us develop a support system. This in turn can protect us from additional harmful stress during challenging times.

o   Volunteering may help us stay or get phy-sically fit. Studies have demonstrated that those who volunteer have a lower mortality rate than those who do not.  Volunteering has also been shown to lessen the symptoms of chronic pain and heart disease. We need to get off the couch, away from the television and out into the world. 

o   Volunteering as a family can have a whole host of benefits. Children watch what adults do and if we are involved in the community and helping others, they may be more likely to follow in our footsteps. We can demon-strate how our efforts to help others and the community are worthwhile and makes a dif-ference. It is a way to enact change. It is also a great way to get to know about community resources and expand our family’s connec-tions within the community.

·         We are provided opportunities to learn or develop new skills. We may discover something we are really good at and we may develop a new skill. It is never too late to learn new skills and learning needs to be ongoing throughout our lifetime. Planning and implementing a fundraising event can develop our goal setting, budgeting, and planning skills. Supervising and training other volunteers may assist us with developing supervisory and training skills.  Painting a mural or making posters or banners to advertise community events may lead us to discover our artistic abilities. Volunteering may enhance these important skills: problem solving; communication; teamwork; project planning; task management; and organization. 

·         Volunteering has the potential of enhancing our career opportunities. All the skills mentioned above can lead to being a better employee for any organi-zation and to top things off we will possibly get our foot in the door with specific organizations. Organizations will recognize our talents and willingness to be a part of a team and may consider us for positions within their organizations.

·         Volunteering brings fun and fulfillment to our lives. It provides us with a way to explore our interests and passions. Volunteering can afford us with opportunities to get a break from the day-to-day responsibilities and can give us a chance to renew or rekindle our creativity, motivation, and vision that can spill over into our personal and professional life. People with a desk job may volunteer to help maintain a hiking trail in order to give them an opportunity to get outside (HelpGuide, 2016).

 

Most of us have busy lives; but we need to do our part for our communities. The benefits of volunteering are colossal.  We may meet a lot of great people because of our volunteer activities and there may be so many times in which we may feel our assistance has been needed. We can learn a lot, also. We all have time we can spare.  By turning off the television for a few extra hours a week or other ways in which we are wasting time, we can do so much more for ourselves and our communities.  

 

 

 

 

 

5 Ways to Be Happier Now

 

Wherever we’re at, there's always room, and reason, to shoot for a little more happiness.

“Here are five ways to reengage and find more joy in life:

1. Count your blessings

Research has consistently shown that people who practice gratitude have a lower risk of depression, higher levels of relationship satisfaction and greater resilience in the face of stressful events, says psychologist Acacia Parks, chief scientist at Happify Health. She recommends that you take five minutes at the end of each day to write about three things that happened to you that were good. Research shows that if you do this exercise every day for just one week, you can experience an increase in happiness for at least six months. “Our brains are wired to give extra attention to the negative,” explains Parks. “But if you purposefully focus on positive things, you'll automatically begin to notice all of the good around you, instead of dwelling on the bad.” Nightly gratitude lists have the added benefit of helping you doze off happily — which may lead to better sleep quality as well, she adds.

2. Take a hike

Just the very act of being outdoors impacts your mood, says Sonja Lyubomirsky, distinguished professor and vice chair, Department of Psychology, University of California, Riverside. A 2014 Japanese study found that people who walked in a forest for 15 minutes had lower heart rates and reported better moods and lower anxiety than those who did a similar walk in an urban environment. “There's something about being in nature that lowers blood pressure and heart rate, and reduces stress hormones,” Lyubomirsky explains. You don't even need to hoof it to a forest. You can get many of the same benefits by exploring a quieter part of your neighborhood, she adds. Experts also recommend trying walking meditation: Focus on the sensation of your breath as it moves in and out of your body, or the feeling of your feet touching the ground. If your mind wanders, bring it back to focus on one of those sensations.

 

3. Master a new skill

Whether it's taking up golf or signing up for a virtual language class, you'll reap happiness benefits by stretching yourself to try new things. When people focus on tasks that built their skill set, the stress they feel at first tends to yield increased happiness in the long term, according to a study published in the Journal of Happiness Studies. “During the pandemic, a lot of our goals were put on hold — now is the time to pursue them,” says Lyubomirsky, who recommends pursuing something “challenging enough to get you out of your comfort zone, but not so complex you give up in frustration.” You can also try simply planning a vacation to a new locale, visiting a museum once a month, or regularly attending outdoor concerts. A study published in the Review of General Psychology found that people who engage in a variety of experiences are more likely to feel positive emotions, including happiness.

4. Volunteer

Older adults who volunteer for two to three hours a week report less depression, better overall health and longer lives than those who don't, according to a 2014 study published in the journal Psychological Bulletin. Experts say you'll get the biggest lift from something you do regularly, at which you make social connections and invest your time and skills. If you're not yet fully vaccinated, there are plenty of opportunities available online, says Rabin. You can find opportunities near you at Volunteer Match. Or simply sprinkle little acts of kindness throughout your week, says Lyubomirsky. “Anything that you do — whether it's grocery shopping for someone still afraid to venture out, or assisting a neighbor's child with remote learning — reaps happiness benefits,” she says.

5. Savor the moment

The more time you spend thinking about the good stuff from the past, present and future, the happier you will feel. “It's about being mindful and lingering on the positive exper-iences of your lives,” says Parks. “It doesn't just create positive feelings — it amplifies them and makes them last longer.” One easy way to do this, she says, is to take a minute or two every day to really focus on what you're doing, especially if it's an activity you usually do without thinking. “Most of us mostly zone out in the shower, but if you take a few minutes to think about how nice the water feels on your skin, and how good it feels to get clean, it really brings you into the present moment,” she says. When you sit down to a meal, bring all your senses to the table and concentrate on how the food feels in your mouth, or its smell. Research shows that people who practiced these techniques for 30 days reported more happiness” (Livine, 2021).

Source:https://www.aarp.org/health/healthy-livinginfo-2021/how-to-be-happy.htm?cmp=EMC-DSO-NLC-RSS-

CTRL-052421-P1-5501455&ET_CID=55014

Battered Woman Syndrome

*        Stages

·         How it develops

·         Signs

·         Side effects

·         Treatment

·         How to get help

·         The law

·         Outlook

Overview

Battered woman syndrome, also known as battered person syndrome, can be the product of long-term domestic abuse. Battered woman syndrome is considered a subcategory of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People living with battered woman syndrome may feel helpless. This can cause them to wrongly believe they deserve the abuse and that they can’t get away from it. In many cases, this is why people don’t report their abuse to police or loved ones.

If you believe you or someone close to you is living with battered woman syndrome, know that it’s possible to treat this condition and lead a full life. Read on to learn more about the signs and symptoms of battered woman syndrome, as well as how it’s treated.

The stages of battered woman syndrome

Because of the unique circumstances that different people can find themselves in, battered woman syndrome may not look the same in everyone who lives with it.

That being said, there are generally thought to be four stages of battered woman syndrome:

1. Denial. The person is unable to accept that they’re being abused, or they justify it as being “just that once.”
2. Guilt. The person believes they caused the abuse.
3. Enlightenment. In this phase, the person realizes that they didn’t deserve the abuse and acknowledges that their partner has an abusive personality.
4. Responsibility. The person accepts that only the abuser holds responsibility for the abuse. In many cases, this is when they’ll explore their options for leaving the relationship.

How battered woman syndrome develops

Battered woman syndrome is caused by domestic abuse. While it’s something that can happen between intimate partners, the term “domestic abuse” is an umbrella term that can include things like child and elder abuse, too.

Domestic abuse between intimate partners typically follows a certain cycle:

• The abuser will win over a new partner, often moving quickly into a relationship with tactics like “love bombing,” grand romantic gestures, and pressuring for commitment early.
• The abuser will be emotionally or physically abusive. This often starts small, like a slap instead of a punch or punching the wall next to their partner.
• The abuser will feel guilty, swearing they’ll never do it again, and be overtly romantic to win their partner over.
• There will be a temporary “honeymoon” period, where the abuser is on their best behavior, luring their partner into thinking that they’re safe and things really will be different.
• Abuse occurs, starting the cycle all over again.

People become trapped in abusive relationships for many reasons, which can include:

• financial dependence on the abuser, which the abuser often manufactures
• wanting to have a complete family unit for their children’s sake
• being afraid to leave
• disbelief or denial that the partner is actually abusive
• severe depression or low self-esteem that makes them think the abuse is their fault
• believing that if the abuser loves them, it’s OK, and they can change the behavior

As a person becomes trapped in the cycle of abuse, battered woman syndrome can develop. This syndrome makes it difficult for people to regain control of their lives.

The signs of battered woman syndrome

Battered woman syndrome results in several distinct symptoms. A person in an abusive relationship may:

• think the abuse is their fault
• hide the abuse from friends and family
• fear for their life or the lives of their children
• believe that the abuser is all-knowing and can see their every movement
• be afraid and never know what side of their partner they’ll see that day — a loving partner or an abuser

Warning signs

If you’re concerned about a family member or friend, watch for several important symptoms that could signal that they’re in an abusive relationship and need help. These include:

• withdrawing and making excuses not to see friends or family or do activities they once did (this can be something the abuser is controlling)
• seeming anxious around their partner or afraid of their partner
• having frequent bruises or injuries they lie about or can’t explain
• having limited access to money, credit cards, or transportation
• showing an extreme difference in personality
• getting frequent calls from a significant other, especially calls that require them to check in or make them seem anxious
• having a partner who has a temper, becomes jealous easily, or is very possessive
• wearing clothing that could be hiding bruises, like long-sleeve shirts in the summer

ADVERTISEMENT

Explore new calming exercises with Calm

Manage your anxiety with the award-winning Calm app. Try a guided meditation, a sleep story, or stretches designed by experts to help you focus and relax. Start your free trial today.

START FREE TRIAL

Side effects of battered woman syndrome

Several serious side effects are associated with battered woman syndrome.

Short term

Short-term side effects that may be seen immediately include:

• depression
• lowered self-esteem
• damaged relationships with friends and family
• severe anxiety
• feeling worthless or hopeless
• feeling like they have no control

Long term

Research has shown that battered woman syndrome and domestic abuse can result in long-term health consequences that can last for decades. Long-term effects can include:

• PTSD-like symptoms, including flashbacks, dissociative states, and violent outbursts against the abuser
• health issues caused by stress, such as high blood pressure and associated cardiac problems
• health issues from the physical abuse, such as damaged joints or arthritis
• chronic back pain or headaches
• increased risk of developing diabetes, asthma, depression, and immune dysfunction due to long-term stress

Treatment for battered woman syndrome

The first step in treating battered woman syndrome is to get the person to a safe place away from their abuser.

If you or someone you care about is living with battered woman syndrome, you can form a safety plan and a getaway plan without the abuser. It’s also good to have a doctor examine any injuries that may have been sustained in the abuse.

A therapist with experience in PTSD or domestic abuse should be consulted. The therapist needs to validate the victim when they detail their abuse.

The therapist should help them to understand that none of this was their fault and should also help empower them.

Treatment strategies

Anxiety and depression can result from battered woman syndrome. Treatment plans for these conditions may include a combination of anti-anxiety medications, antidepressant medications, and talk therapy to help the person regain control of their life.

In some cases, the therapist may recommend interpersonal therapy, where they help the person establish stronger relationships with their support system. These supportive relationships may have been damaged due to isolation caused by the abuse.

In the 1970s, “battered woman syndrome” began being used as a legal defense to explain the mental state of women who kill their abusers. Coined by psychologist Lenore Walker, she proposed the term to describe the psychological condition of women who endured repeated traumas at the hands of an intimate partner, including the coping or survival skills a victim would develop over time to live with abuse. 

The defense was famously used in the Lorena Bobbitt trial in the early ‘90s after Bobbitt castrated her abusive husband. Bobbitt was acquitted. In 2011, Barbara Sheehan killed her husband, claiming he severely abused her throughout their marriage. She, too, was acquitted after a battered-woman defense was used. 

While it can be used in a victim’s favor, advocates and experts would also attest that battered woman syndrome comes with its pitfalls, as assigning victims a syndrome means that they can be pathologized, taking the focus off of the abuser and their choice to abuse, and putting a spotlight instead on a victim that supposedly just needs psychological treatment. 

SIGN UP FOR EMAILS

Receive new and helpful articles weekly. Sign up here.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form

You’re Not Crazy, You’re Traumatized

Currently, battered woman syndrome is listed as a subcategory under post-traumatic stress disorder in the DSM-V, the American Psychiatric Association’s manual for diagnosing mental disorders, a more gender-neutral, non-blaming term that many advocates say they prefer. While battered woman syndrome may still be diagnosed, it’s more often than not called PTSD.

The symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Intrusive memories of the abuse
• Loss of interest in other people and the outside world
• Insomnia
• Agitation
• Outbursts of anger
• Panic attacks
• Depression
• Overwhelming feelings of sadness, fear, despair, guilt or self-hatred
• Physical pain that migrates throughout the body
• An inability to imagine a positive future

Victims Are Not Helpless

Walker had originally proposed victims of abuse developed a “learned helplessness” to an abuser—being abused over an extended period of time stripped them of the will to live and, in turn, prevented them from getting away from an abuser. Yet, we also know this isn’t true. Victims try to leave abusers all the time—many statistics will cite victims try to leave seven times, on average, before staying away for good, though this is hard to prove unequivocally. 

A survey on DomesticShelters.org showed survivors weren’t able to leave abusers most often because of threats from the abuser, followed up by fear of retaliation or risk of losing custody of children. To leave an abuser safely, consider creating a safety plan with a trained domestic violence advocate near you. And be prepared for anything: Read “When an Abuser Tries to Block Your Separation” for more information. 

Battered woman syndrome theorized that victims of abuse were not mentally sound enough to make rational decisions, including leaving an abuser before violence escalated. But we know now that victims don’t stay with an abusive partner because they have a mental disorder. If they’re unable to leave, there are myriad barriers that may be standing in their way, as stated above. And there are at least 50 such barriers, according to law professor, advocate and survivor Sarah Buel. Among them:

• Fear of retaliation by the abuser
• Lack of financial resources or employment
• Absence of support system or advocate that can help them leave safely 
• Fear of losing custody of children
• Isolation from shelters, family or friends
• Disability, undocumented status or other dependence on abuser
• The abuser is in law enforcement
• Promises of change or continued hope for the abuse to end
• Religious beliefs that prevent separation or divorce
• Family pressure to stay
• Shame or embarrassment
• Trauma-bonding

More Accountable Language Needed

Describing any victim, woman or man, who has survived an abuser as having “battered woman syndrome” can minimize their experiences, reducing an abuser’s choice to abuse to a list of psychological symptoms. Advocates argue for more accountable language to be used.

Sue Osthoff, director and cofounder of the National Clearinghouse for Defense of Battered Women says they prefer to use “battering and its effects” when discussing the trauma of abuse, “since the consequences [of being abused] are way more than psychological,” she says.