Da Polka Kings

Everybody was doing some mighty fine toe tapping. Da Polka Kings were playing at the Bear Butt Inn. Earl and his buddies invited their wives to join them for some down home dancing and partying. Everybody had a smile plastered on their faces as they headed towards the dance floor. Love was in the air.

            Harold, the leader of the Polka Kings, was tapping his foot in two/four time while he played the accordion. Clarence was playing the fiddle and Pete was pounding the drums. Pete was also keeping time for the band. Clara, Clarence’s sister, started playing the tambourine. It was a gay old time and the walls were shaking.

            Earl was reminiscing about when he met the love of his life, his wife Irene. She was sitting on a chair across the room at the Bear Butt Bar and Grill talking with Bertha, Bernie’s beloved. It was right after the Spring Fling. Earl just took second place in the wood chopping contest and he was full of himself. Bernie took second place in the milking contest. He took one of his cows for the competition and he knew she would be easy to milk. She proved him right. The bucket was filled in no time at all. Bernie and Earl didn’t mind placing second as long as they placed.

            As a child, it was one of Bernie’s dreams to be able to play polka music. He wanted to win the admiration of his Pa. His Pa absolutely loved polka music. Bernie could not quite grasp the ability to play da accordion so he had to forego his dream. He picked up whittling and whittled away da hours making hollowed out spit ball shooters.

            The Polka Kings drove all the way from just outside of Houghton, Michigan. They were requested to play at many of the bars in the U.P. Elwood was happy to finally get them to agree to come and play at the Bear Butt. The band wanted to be paid in Old Milwaukee and pasties. Word got out about Mabel’s pasties and they asked to be paid in two cases of Old Milwaukee and 50 pasties. Mabel was busy with some of her friends making the pasties. The townsfolk donated the supplies. It was definitely a com-munity effort to get the Polka Kings to St. Mary.

            The Polka Kings usually charge more to make an appearance; however, Harold met his wife, Patsy, when he was fishing at St. Mary. His wife’s sister is Irene, Earl’s wife. Small world, ain’t it? The Polka Kings were staying in Earl’s barn. Earl set things up real nice with cots, pillows and gas lanterns. He poured ashes into the heads of the outhouse to freshen them up. Things were looking real spiffy for the popular band.

            The Polka Kings played into the wee hours of the morning. They played popular songs from the hit Polka singers, Jimmy Sturr and Frank Yankovic. It’s not every day ya get to listen to such talent. Every one ended up at Earl’s homestead for some bacon, fried eggs, and home-made bread, Irene’s specialty. Earl recently slaughtered one of their pigs and there was enough bacon to go around. Their slew of chickens was producing more eggs than they knew what to do with.

           

            The next day, Harold talked with Earl about the predicament concerning Pete. Harold was hoping that they could find a life partner for Pete, a member of the band, who was mentioned earlier. Pete’s been lonely lately and overstaying his welcome at Harold’s and Clarence’s homesteads. Earl and Bernie thought they had just the lady of his dreams. Torry, Bernie’s sister, had been widowed for about a year. Her husband, Louie, ran off with the waitress from the Truck Stop Restaurant. Torry’s been moping for the past year and a date with Pete may be just what da doc ordered.

            Things were falling into place. Torry brought over blueberry muffins like Earl asked her to do. He requested her to do so under the pretense that Torry was helping out Irene with the meal preparation, but it was Earl’s way of proving to Pete that she was a really good cook. Torry made the best muffins. Anyways, back to the story. Torry was invited to dinner and Pete happened to be at their homestead. He didn’t know about Torry either. It was go-ing to be a surprise for the both of them.

            There was plenty of time to get to know each other because the band was staying at Earl’s for a week or so. Irene was missing her sister and Harold said they could catch up. They were doing that alright. There is never a quiet moment when those two were together.

            Pete helped himself to a muffin and he told Torry they were really good. She smiled shyly at him and left the room to see if the women in the kitchen needed any help. Earl thought that he needed to speed things up so he pulled Irene aside and asked her if they could somehow leave Pete and Torry alone while they went to the market. Irene bought into the matchmaking so she told Patsy what they were up to. Patsy looked at Pete and Torry and decided they would make a good match and went along with the scheme.

            They all went back to the living room and sat down for a spell and drank Old Milwaukee. Earl looked at Irene to give her a cue and the three of them stood up. Torry and Pete looked at them with a surprised look on their faces. They explained dat they needed to go to town to pick up a few things. Torry frowned and then sat back down on the sofa. Pete sat next to her.

            “We can watch something on the tube if ya would like,” said Torry.

            “Dat would be nice,” replied Pete.

            They looked all cozy and Earl, Irene and Patsy left the homestead. They ended up at the Bear Butt Inn. They were all laughing when Harold asked what was up. Harold was happy to learn about their little scheme.

            “How much time should we give them?” asked Harold.

            “I think an hour or two should suffice,” responded Patsy. Being da serious one and da one dat cared a pinch about details she went on to say, “I think we will need to stop at da market on our way home to pick up something.”

            “You are probably right, Patsy,” said Irene.

            “The guys will run in and pick up snacks for around the campfire tonight,” said Earl.

            “How about stuff for s’mores?” asked Patsy.

            “Every time I eat those things I get marshmellow all over me,” said Harold.

            “Don’t eat any. I want a s’more,” responded Patsy curtly.

            Harold got up and put a couple of quarters in the juke box. He played a couple of Patsy Cline songs. Patsy forgave him and tapped his hand gently.

            “I think we should be heading home. I am getting hungry and I think we left them alone long enough,” said Earl.

            As Patsy suggested, Harold agreed to pick up da stuff for s’mores. He picked up some potato chips for himself, too.

            When they arrived home, they could not find Torry or Pete. They looked in the barn and around the homestead. The last place they looked they found Torry and Pete under the covers of Earl and Irene’s bed. Earl, Patsy and Irene were in shock. Harold stood in the doorway smiling.

            Torry and Pete ignored them and began smooching on each other.

            “Ah….  Buddy don’t ya think ya are moving a little too fast,” stammered Earl.

            Torry and Pete started laughing. Torry said, “We caught on really quick what da three of ya were up to and decided to go along with the cherade.”

            They sprung up from the bed fully clothed.

            “We decided on our own account dat we may start seeing each other and see where things go. Not happy with the three of ya for setting us up. What do ya have to say for yerselves?” demanded Torry.

            “Yeah, what she said,” reiterated Pete.

            Harold was happy that Pete was finally getting on with his life after being dumped by his girl, Betsy Lou. She was caught two timing on Pete with Lawrence, the vacuum salesman. Pete was devastated.

            The week went by fast for the new couple and they ended up agreeing to shack up for awhile and see how things turn out. Pete liked the St. Mary’s area with all the good fishing and hunting so he decided to bunk with Torry at her homestead. Torry didn’t want to leave her family and friends. Love was in the air.

            Torry was brought to meet Pete’s parents and soon wedding bells were sounding their happy sounds. Harold had to find another drummer for the Polka Kings. That wasn’t hard to do because you would be hard pressed to find someone who doesn’t love the Polka Kings in the U.P.