Battered Woman Syndrome

*        Stages

·         How it develops

·         Signs

·         Side effects

·         Treatment

·         How to get help

·         The law

·         Outlook

Overview

Battered woman syndrome, also known as battered person syndrome, can be the product of long-term domestic abuse. Battered woman syndrome is considered a subcategory of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

People living with battered woman syndrome may feel helpless. This can cause them to wrongly believe they deserve the abuse and that they can’t get away from it. In many cases, this is why people don’t report their abuse to police or loved ones.

If you believe you or someone close to you is living with battered woman syndrome, know that it’s possible to treat this condition and lead a full life. Read on to learn more about the signs and symptoms of battered woman syndrome, as well as how it’s treated.

The stages of battered woman syndrome

Because of the unique circumstances that different people can find themselves in, battered woman syndrome may not look the same in everyone who lives with it.

That being said, there are generally thought to be four stages of battered woman syndrome:

1. Denial. The person is unable to accept that they’re being abused, or they justify it as being “just that once.”
2. Guilt. The person believes they caused the abuse.
3. Enlightenment. In this phase, the person realizes that they didn’t deserve the abuse and acknowledges that their partner has an abusive personality.
4. Responsibility. The person accepts that only the abuser holds responsibility for the abuse. In many cases, this is when they’ll explore their options for leaving the relationship.

How battered woman syndrome develops

Battered woman syndrome is caused by domestic abuse. While it’s something that can happen between intimate partners, the term “domestic abuse” is an umbrella term that can include things like child and elder abuse, too.

Domestic abuse between intimate partners typically follows a certain cycle:

• The abuser will win over a new partner, often moving quickly into a relationship with tactics like “love bombing,” grand romantic gestures, and pressuring for commitment early.
• The abuser will be emotionally or physically abusive. This often starts small, like a slap instead of a punch or punching the wall next to their partner.
• The abuser will feel guilty, swearing they’ll never do it again, and be overtly romantic to win their partner over.
• There will be a temporary “honeymoon” period, where the abuser is on their best behavior, luring their partner into thinking that they’re safe and things really will be different.
• Abuse occurs, starting the cycle all over again.

People become trapped in abusive relationships for many reasons, which can include:

• financial dependence on the abuser, which the abuser often manufactures
• wanting to have a complete family unit for their children’s sake
• being afraid to leave
• disbelief or denial that the partner is actually abusive
• severe depression or low self-esteem that makes them think the abuse is their fault
• believing that if the abuser loves them, it’s OK, and they can change the behavior

As a person becomes trapped in the cycle of abuse, battered woman syndrome can develop. This syndrome makes it difficult for people to regain control of their lives.

The signs of battered woman syndrome

Battered woman syndrome results in several distinct symptoms. A person in an abusive relationship may:

• think the abuse is their fault
• hide the abuse from friends and family
• fear for their life or the lives of their children
• believe that the abuser is all-knowing and can see their every movement
• be afraid and never know what side of their partner they’ll see that day — a loving partner or an abuser

Warning signs

If you’re concerned about a family member or friend, watch for several important symptoms that could signal that they’re in an abusive relationship and need help. These include:

• withdrawing and making excuses not to see friends or family or do activities they once did (this can be something the abuser is controlling)
• seeming anxious around their partner or afraid of their partner
• having frequent bruises or injuries they lie about or can’t explain
• having limited access to money, credit cards, or transportation
• showing an extreme difference in personality
• getting frequent calls from a significant other, especially calls that require them to check in or make them seem anxious
• having a partner who has a temper, becomes jealous easily, or is very possessive
• wearing clothing that could be hiding bruises, like long-sleeve shirts in the summer

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Side effects of battered woman syndrome

Several serious side effects are associated with battered woman syndrome.

Short term

Short-term side effects that may be seen immediately include:

• depression
• lowered self-esteem
• damaged relationships with friends and family
• severe anxiety
• feeling worthless or hopeless
• feeling like they have no control

Long term

Research has shown that battered woman syndrome and domestic abuse can result in long-term health consequences that can last for decades. Long-term effects can include:

• PTSD-like symptoms, including flashbacks, dissociative states, and violent outbursts against the abuser
• health issues caused by stress, such as high blood pressure and associated cardiac problems
• health issues from the physical abuse, such as damaged joints or arthritis
• chronic back pain or headaches
• increased risk of developing diabetes, asthma, depression, and immune dysfunction due to long-term stress

Treatment for battered woman syndrome

The first step in treating battered woman syndrome is to get the person to a safe place away from their abuser.

If you or someone you care about is living with battered woman syndrome, you can form a safety plan and a getaway plan without the abuser. It’s also good to have a doctor examine any injuries that may have been sustained in the abuse.

A therapist with experience in PTSD or domestic abuse should be consulted. The therapist needs to validate the victim when they detail their abuse.

The therapist should help them to understand that none of this was their fault and should also help empower them.

Treatment strategies

Anxiety and depression can result from battered woman syndrome. Treatment plans for these conditions may include a combination of anti-anxiety medications, antidepressant medications, and talk therapy to help the person regain control of their life.

In some cases, the therapist may recommend interpersonal therapy, where they help the person establish stronger relationships with their support system. These supportive relationships may have been damaged due to isolation caused by the abuse.

In the 1970s, “battered woman syndrome” began being used as a legal defense to explain the mental state of women who kill their abusers. Coined by psychologist Lenore Walker, she proposed the term to describe the psychological condition of women who endured repeated traumas at the hands of an intimate partner, including the coping or survival skills a victim would develop over time to live with abuse. 

The defense was famously used in the Lorena Bobbitt trial in the early ‘90s after Bobbitt castrated her abusive husband. Bobbitt was acquitted. In 2011, Barbara Sheehan killed her husband, claiming he severely abused her throughout their marriage. She, too, was acquitted after a battered-woman defense was used. 

While it can be used in a victim’s favor, advocates and experts would also attest that battered woman syndrome comes with its pitfalls, as assigning victims a syndrome means that they can be pathologized, taking the focus off of the abuser and their choice to abuse, and putting a spotlight instead on a victim that supposedly just needs psychological treatment. 

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You’re Not Crazy, You’re Traumatized

Currently, battered woman syndrome is listed as a subcategory under post-traumatic stress disorder in the DSM-V, the American Psychiatric Association’s manual for diagnosing mental disorders, a more gender-neutral, non-blaming term that many advocates say they prefer. While battered woman syndrome may still be diagnosed, it’s more often than not called PTSD.

The symptoms of PTSD can include:

• Intrusive memories of the abuse
• Loss of interest in other people and the outside world
• Insomnia
• Agitation
• Outbursts of anger
• Panic attacks
• Depression
• Overwhelming feelings of sadness, fear, despair, guilt or self-hatred
• Physical pain that migrates throughout the body
• An inability to imagine a positive future

Victims Are Not Helpless

Walker had originally proposed victims of abuse developed a “learned helplessness” to an abuser—being abused over an extended period of time stripped them of the will to live and, in turn, prevented them from getting away from an abuser. Yet, we also know this isn’t true. Victims try to leave abusers all the time—many statistics will cite victims try to leave seven times, on average, before staying away for good, though this is hard to prove unequivocally. 

A survey on DomesticShelters.org showed survivors weren’t able to leave abusers most often because of threats from the abuser, followed up by fear of retaliation or risk of losing custody of children. To leave an abuser safely, consider creating a safety plan with a trained domestic violence advocate near you. And be prepared for anything: Read “When an Abuser Tries to Block Your Separation” for more information. 

Battered woman syndrome theorized that victims of abuse were not mentally sound enough to make rational decisions, including leaving an abuser before violence escalated. But we know now that victims don’t stay with an abusive partner because they have a mental disorder. If they’re unable to leave, there are myriad barriers that may be standing in their way, as stated above. And there are at least 50 such barriers, according to law professor, advocate and survivor Sarah Buel. Among them:

• Fear of retaliation by the abuser
• Lack of financial resources or employment
• Absence of support system or advocate that can help them leave safely 
• Fear of losing custody of children
• Isolation from shelters, family or friends
• Disability, undocumented status or other dependence on abuser
• The abuser is in law enforcement
• Promises of change or continued hope for the abuse to end
• Religious beliefs that prevent separation or divorce
• Family pressure to stay
• Shame or embarrassment
• Trauma-bonding

More Accountable Language Needed

Describing any victim, woman or man, who has survived an abuser as having “battered woman syndrome” can minimize their experiences, reducing an abuser’s choice to abuse to a list of psychological symptoms. Advocates argue for more accountable language to be used.

Sue Osthoff, director and cofounder of the National Clearinghouse for Defense of Battered Women says they prefer to use “battering and its effects” when discussing the trauma of abuse, “since the consequences [of being abused] are way more than psychological,” she says.