Gertrude
winked at Harry from across the hall.
She was enamored by him and wished he felt the same way about her. Harry was sporting a coon hat with a long
tail. An end of a leek was protruding
from his full lips.
The clock struck 8:00 o’clock and
the tables were moved from the dance area after the pie eating contest. It was
one hour before the dancing began. Gertrude’s sister Hannah took first place
again much to some of the fellas’ chagrin.
Gertrude could still taste the sourness from the cherry pies she
ingested. Her front tooth was stained from the cherry pie. Cherry pie was her
favorite. The berries were not sitting too well with the contestants and you
could hear toots as they walked across the floor. The air was made fug by the
odorous smells in the barn. The air
smelled of horses and their manure mixed in with the rank smell of damp
hay. Most folks from around these parts
took those smells as a way of life and nature’s perfume. The dance hall was
actually Bernie’s horse barn. Bernie
moved the horses outside to the corral and swept the main floor to prepare for
the night’s hoedown. The smell of manure
Fishing rods were lined up on one of
the walls of the dancing area. Trapper reeled in the biggest catfish that
morning and won the fishing contest. Poor Jethro lost his fishing pole when his
fish hook got snagged on a log in the river.
A tub was placed in the center of
the room that contained water and apples for the apple bobbing
competition. Gertrude nudged her sister
Maybelle in the ribs and said, “let’s show up those other gals over there and
get the most apples this year.” Maybelle and Gertrude squatted on the floor on
two sides of the tub and started bobbing for apples. Maybelle being as
competitive as her sister said, “I got to get me as many of those darn apples
as I can get.” The crowd was cheering
them on.
Sally Joe walked through the door,
one of Maybelle’s arch enemies. She was
standing with her feet shoulder width apart and her hands on her hips. She reached for something out of the pocket
of her patchwork skirt. Maybelle tensed
up and stood to face her opponent. Sally
Joe pulled a pen out of her pocket with a piece of paper.
“Ya know da pen is mightier than the
sword. I am going to run you out of town on a rail Maybelle,”said Sally Joe as
she pointed her nubby finger at Maybelle.
Sally Joe’s finger got caught in one of the gears of her tractor last
year during harvest time.
Maybelle was thrown off balance by
the force of Sally Joe’s voice. Sally
Joe challenged Maybelle to a game of tic tac toe. Maybelle was trembling as she drew the first
x. She always went for the center; but that was not a sure way to win the
game. Sally Joe was known around these
parts to be the best tic tac toe player in the county. A bead of sweat was
rolling down Maybelle’s face. Sally Joe drew a circle on one of the corners.
Before Maybelle realized what Sally Joe’s strategy was, She had a circle drawn
on three corners. Maybelle lost the game and walked with a slouch to one of the
corners of the large barn. People were staring at her which made things worse.
Sally Joe turned towards Gertrude
and Gertrude shrunk away from her.
Putting a hand up signaling that she did not want to play a part in
trying to get back at Sally Joe. Sally Joe smiled smugly and walked over to
Harry. She put her arm around Harry. He
smiled like the cat who swallowed a canary.
He began to pick his teeth with the tine of a fork.
“There’s no ifs, ands, or buts Sally
Joe, you are the best tic tac toe player in the county,” said Harry
proudly.
Dusk was falling on this warm summer
night. Children were still playing tag
outside. The children looked up at the
sky marveling at the full moon. Two loons swam past the onlookers as they were
gazing at the moon.
Soup was simmering in a large kettle. Mary Sue put the lid back on the pot after
she stirred in some spices.
“Do you mind if I have a cup of dat
soup? I haven’t eaten since noon,” said
Billy when he opened the lid to smell the savory aroma.
“Yes, go right ahead,” replied Mary
Sue as she handed him a metal cup.
“Mum told me that there was hail da
other day when Uncle Willy set sail to fill their freezer for winter. He was
going to bring home a mess of catfish,” exclaimed Billy.
“When I got the mail da other day,
my second cousin Henrietta told me they were hit with a bout of hail two weeks
ago.”
Mary Sue added some soy sauce to the
soup. Her mum told her that soy sauce
gives things just the right amount of kick.
“Sprinkle some of dat magic sauce on
my cup of soup, will ya,” demanded Billy.
“Did you hear those bears rummaging
through our garbage last night?” asked Mary Sue.
“Yes, I did. I paid old man McCoy
$5.00 for this bear repellant stuff and it didn’t work. I am going to bring dat tube back to McCoy’s
store and demand my money back.”
“I swear on da holy grail dat I
covered my garbage cans with bricks and when I woke up the bricks were gone,”
said Mary Sue with a look of frustration.
While Mary Sue and Billy were having
this conversation, Gertrude stared at who she thought was her soul mate from
across the room. She thought to herself,
I am so mad at dat con artist Sally
Joe. She has been after my man for
months now. If I had a ton of bricks
right now I would set them up so they would fall on her and get rid of her once
and for all. Gertrude dotted her
face with a hand-kerchief as her mood became more and more gloomy.
Jethro began playing the fiddle
while Henry played the washtub base.
People started tapping their feet to the music.
Gertrude worked up her courage,
walked over to Harry, took him by the hand and pulled him onto the dance
floor. A look of surprise crossed
everyone’s face.
Gertrude said gruffly, “I have been
pining for you since I saw you take first place during dat outhouse race last
fall. It’s about time ya started paying
attention to me.”
Harry replied, “It’s about time ya
admitted yer feel-ings for me darling.” They ended up dancing the night
away.
Sally Joe stormed out of the dance
hall. The tires of her big red truck
spun dirt and gravel as she drove away.
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