Beyond the Shadows

Even if it burns a bit low at times,

The secret of life is to always

Keep the flame of hope alive.

Barbara Johnson

One of the single most critical elements preventing us from achieving happiness is unresolved trauma. Everybody has it within themselves to become healthier: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. All of us have a past and our share of challenges. No one has a perfect life; loved ones passed away, parents divorce, loss of jobs, substance abuse issues, and unfair treatment. Change can be exciting, satisfying, and valuable. Conversely, change can also be frightening and complicated. Not taking risks can assist us with avoiding additional suffering, disappointment, and fear of the unknown; however, it also causes us to avoid learning, changing, growing, or really living life to the fullest. Most of us are not usually adept with planning for good things to happen in our lives. We usually plan for setbacks and disasters. With a positive mindset and achievable goals, our goals are more likely to come to fruition. If you have made a decision to heal from unresolved trauma, you need to make sure you are committed to the necessary changes and pursue the tools necessary to see your recovery to the end.

“If you deliberately plan to be less than you are capable of being, then I want to

warn you that you’ll be deeply unhappy the rest of your life.” 

Abraham Maslow

We all have it within ourselves to live a life filled with meaning and satisfaction. This book is about the ability to master your life and unlock your fullest potential. The book you have in front of you will become one of the most important books in your life. Of course, many authors make this claim. After personally practicing many of the things described in this book and reaching a life filled with fulfillment, I can safely proclaim this statement. This is a powerful resource and the first one of its kind that I am aware of. This book is written primarily in first person format because I believe we are all in this together. The people who were interviewed for this book and previous writing projects provided a lot of insight concerning what it has been like to deal with unresolved trauma. The names of these individuals were changed to protect their privacy. Some of the topics will be repeated throughout the book because of the importance of the information. Be prepared to feel empowered when unpacking your trauma baggage and transform your life from merely surviving to thriving. Before you begin your journey of healing from unresolved trauma you are often stuck in the victim role, a role frocked with feelings of helplessness and no hope for a brighter tomorrow.

            An important goal when addressing historical trauma is to move from the victim role to thriving. The terms victim and survivor are often used interchangeably. There are vast differences between the terms. The terms victim, survivor, and thriver feature distinctions as follows:

Victim:

State of helplessness

Angry

Hoping to be rescued

Perception of lacking choices

Self-pity

Complacent

Identities self as a victim

In pain and feeling numb

Experiencing feelings of defeat

Avoidance of feelings

Controlled by traumatic memories

Controlled by depression, anxiety, hatred, bitterness, revenge, and physical complaints

Has not learned from the experience, likely to repeat trauma, and victimization

Feelings of shame and self-dislike

Self-destructive addictions

Survivor:

Beginning to feel stronger

Perception that there are resources and choices

Recognition of personal potential to change and grow

Living one day at a time; coping from day to day; present life is primary focus

Beginning to heal

Living moderately well

Suffering begins to lessen

Neutral about life; not depressed, but not happy

Realization of traumatic experience(s) existing in the past.

Removed ourselves from possible abusive situations

Thriver:

Committed to positive growth

Planning for the future with optimism

Active

Self-determined

Can experience joy

Established healthy self-esteem; and we see ourselves as valuable people

Reaching out to others

Has found meaning and purpose in life

Experience positive growth as a result of the trauma.

Can endure remaining anxiety based symptoms with relative comfort and/or acceptance

Guilty feelings have been resolved

Generally satisfied with life

Perception that we have moved beyond the trauma and have learned valuable lessons.

Happiness is an obligation which we owe to ourselves, others and the universe. Mastery of our own personal happiness takes effort. Happiness is a state of well-being and contentment. We may have found it easier to be sad and find fault with our lives.  We may be used to being unhappy and as a result our unhappiness has become our norm. If we force ourselves to smile on a daily basis, smiling will become a personal habit. Feeling grateful for what we have is the first step to happiness and next is humility, appropriate communication skills and a desire to control our need to obtain all our wants. The recipe for happiness involves equal parts of being grateful plus not allowing things to bring us down. We are in charge of our emotions. We need to seek happiness like our life depends on it because it does. 

Native Americans have demonstrated steadfast resiliency throughout history. As a member of a federally recognized tribe, it is the explanation I chose to use to explain our existence. There are many factors associated with resilience: insight into ourselves and others; open mindedness; courage; personal discipline; integrity; a sense of humor; a high tolerance for distress; and a practical viewpoint that grants life meaning, and hope. Those who coped best with traumatic events were those with the insight into the emotional impact of what they experienced and who were able to express their feelings to another immediately following the event.  Another factor that comes into play is the person’s temperament. Also the early life experience of trauma can contribute to our vulnerability or resistance to stress. The impact of prolonged early trauma from childhood into adulthood is likely to interfere with the development of resilience. Coping with complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) poses an extreme challenge. This disorder, which I believe many Native Americans are inflicted with, is the crisis that can be accompanied with an opportunity to develop new ways of coping and more resilience. 

The core feelings associated with trauma are feeling afraid and alone.  Hence, mobilizing social support systems such as relatives, friends, and members of the community can play a major role in our recovery. Encouraging survivors to tell our story counteracts the feeling of isolation. It also provides an opportunity to make sense of the traumatic experience. The more severe, complex, and chronic the PTSD symptoms are, the more difficult these symptoms are to explain or diagnose. Correctly answering the question “What happened?” may take a while to answer.  And the question may refer to much of our childhoods, allowing no brief answer. Our stories, depending on the complexity of the trauma we suffered, may be difficult to reconstruct. The stages of recovery involve establishing safety, reconstructing our story, mourning and integration. For anyone who has suffered various forms of trauma most of their lives, establishing a sense of safety may not be easy. A sense of safety may not occur at the beginning of the healing journey, it may be the end result.

Most of us were inflicted with some form of serious trauma during our lifetime and research has demonstrated the trauma faced by our ancestors also affects us today; this is referred to as intergenerational stress or historical trauma. In the days before the United States and Canada were settled by Europeans, there were no political boundaries. Many of the tribes consisted of nomadic hunters and gatherers. Weather and the availability of food sources played a role in deciding where the Anishanaabeg (original people) would live.  I will also use the name Indian for this population because it has been determined to be a noble name. What was known as the Indies today was known as Hindustan in 1492. The word “Indian” came from Columbus’ description of the people he found. He was an Italian who did not speak or write Spanish very well, so in his written accounts he called the Indians, “Una gente in Dios,” a people in God.  Again, it is my opinion the given name of Indian is perfectly noble and respectable. 

For hundreds of years Indian people have been subjected to harsh acts of discrimination, which I have to regretfully acknowledge is still occurring today. Keep in mind; phrases such as “Drunken Indians” are still being used. The children at the boarding schools were told their form of spirituality was barbaric, savage, and they were told they were less than human by people who shoved Christianity down their throats while they were sexually, emotionally, and physically abusing them. The batterers told the battered they were undeserving of respect. This book clearly describes what historical trauma is and what can be done to address the damage caused by the ravages of this form of chronic abuse. 

Much was lost and destroyed during the cultural disruption of Native American people throughout the history of Euro-Americans settling in this country. As much as we want to blame the Euro-Americans for all our problems, we need to realize everybody suffered.  Even though there has been a lot of destruction to our feelings of self-worth for centuries, we all have it within ourselves to live a life filled with contentment. It would behoove us as a nation to work together to address the problems we are facing by providing support for one another and by rebuilding our communities.

I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) as a result of chronic abuse.  It was like I was walking on a battlefield during war time. Being out of the war zone is like breathing fresh air for the first time. My dream is to release other Native American people from their shame and anxiety induced prisons. The first order of business is to gain an understanding about what has been done to us for centuries and how that abuse has scarred our well-being often beyond recognition. Many of us have been in pain for so long it is difficult to even imagine life without it. Feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness have gotten in the way of our ability of doing our very best as a result of unresolved trauma. 

Instead of feeling as if you are serving on the front lines of a horrific battle, you will feel as if you are walking through a quiet meadow. Colors will become more vibrant and you will feel like the world around you is a friendlier place, one in which we can flourish. The new skills developed during the healing process will give you the personal power to heal. You will finally find the answers to the questions many of you may have had for a long time. Whether you are preparing for your healing journey or have been on your journey for a while, the Beyond the Shadows book is an essential resource. This book is about becoming masters of your life and establishing more meaningful experiences. Living a life filled with meaning involves developing your fullest potential and saying no to things that have caused harm to you and things that may cause you harm. You owe it to yourself and the other important people in your life to be physically, spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually healthy. 

Reference

Brunner, S. (2016). Beyond the Shadows. Michigan: Freedom Eagles Press.

Note: This blog posting is taken from the introduction of my book Beyond the Shadows.