Da Big Foot Adventure

 

“I’ve paid complete attention to your

story and drawn my own confusions.”

-Joel Goodman

 

Everybody knows when you spend enough time in the woods in the U.P. you are going run into the monster called “Big Foot.” His footprints have been spotted in places like the Mystery Spot and around the Hulbert area. The hunters fear him but at the same time want to run into him. Assuming it’s a him. Considering the size of the two-legged creature of wonder, it must be a male. Many a hunter was told if they hear the howl of something they never heard before, more than likely that’s big foot. Big Foot has not been known to hurt anyone and many have wondered what he finds to eat in the vast woods of the U.P. Is it small game like rabbits and squirrels? Who knows? Earl and Bernie have their own story about the time they thought they ran into the hairy beast.

    One day during the early fall, Bernie and Earl decided to go bird hunting. They’ve been thinking that a partridge dinner would be nice. They thought it would be nice to sink their teeth into the juicy breast of the partridge. Partridge ran rampant all over the U.P. and are known to be a delicacy.

    Irene and Bertha sent them on their way with a sack full of cookies and beef jerky. They cooked up a large thermos of hot chocolate. After the almost fatal mishap of the hunting excursion the last hunting season, both Earl and Bernie decided to only hunt when they are sober. Earl almost shot Bernie in the rump when he was bending down to pick up the jerky he dropped. The buckshot only missed Bernie by a few inches. Bernie clutched his heart like Sampson did on “Sampson and Son” to demonstrate how scared he was to be almost shot. Earl was beside himself. The close call was too much to ignore.

    They tracked through the woods, looking for partridge.  The leaves were making a crunching sound under their boots. A large hawk circled above the two hunters. They looked up and saw squirrels running back and forth from tree to tree.

    “I love this time of year. It’s my favorite,” said Bernie.

    “I do, too. What do you think about shooting us some squirrels, so we don’t return home empty handed,” said Earl.

    “No, let’s leave da squirrels alone. Squirrels remind me of my Pa and how poor we were dat we were forced to eat squirrels when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I don’t want to be reminded of dat time. I was happy and sad at da same time,” said Bernie.

    “Yeah, I can remember a couple of times when we was out of food when I was a child. Let’s keep looking.”

    Just then a partridge sprung from the bushes. Earl had his gun cocked and ready and he shot at the partridge. To his amazement, the bird went down. Earl took some shooting lessons from Irene who happened to be a better shot then him. Irene’s Pa decided his daughter needed to learn how to shoot a gun so she could put food on the table if she needed to do so. Earl and Bernie high fived and continued looking for more game.

    They saw a couple of rabbits off in the distance. “Should we trust our luck,” said Bernie.

    Bernie aimed and fired. The rabbits scattered. Bernie was a better shot because Irene gave him lessons, also. Bernie was disappointed that he missed the rabbit.

    “Better luck next time, buddy,” said Earl as he patted Bernie on the back.

    They started walking towards where they saw the rabbits. They heard the most ungodly sound. The loud sound was between the howl of a wolf and the scream of a woman. The hair on the back of their necks stood on end. They hid behind a clump of trees and peered around to see if they could see what made the sound.

    “Do ya think dat was Big Foot,” asked Bernie trembling.

    “I don’t know. It could be,” replied Earl.

    They started walking back to their car. Calling it a day was in order. Dusk was going to fall soon, and they couldn’t afford to be trapped in the woods with the big scary creature.

    Just then, they heard the trampling of a lot of leaves and twigs behind them.

    They ran to a clump of trees to hide.

    They peered around one of the trees and saw Big Foot. He looked like he was over eight feet tall, had long scraggly dirty white fur and long arms and legs. He seemed to be looking right at them.

     “I think I just wet my pants, Bernie,” Earl whispered.

     “I think I did, too,” replied Bernie.

     Big Foot was carrying a rabbit and it appeared to be bloody.

    “I wonder if I shot da rabbit I was aiming at,” said Bernie.

    “I think ya did.”

    Big Foot seemed to be holding up the rabbit to show them his prize. It almost looked like he was thanking the two hunters.

    “Do you see what I see?” asked Earl.

    “I think he is thanking us for the meal,” replied Bernie.

    “I wish I had a camera. Nobody is going to believe us,” said Earl.

    “Let’s call it a day and head back home,” said Bernie.

    “I’m with ya on dat note,” replied Earl.

 

    After a few Old Milwaukees at the Bear Butt Inn, Earl and Bernie decided to tell their Big Foot story. At first no one believed them. They have been known to spin a couple of wild stories.

    “I would bet my tool shed dat we saw Big Foot,” said Earl.

    Everyone knew that Earl was very proud of his tool shed and he wouldn’t do anything to lose his pride and joy.

    “Okay, we believe ya, buddy,” said Jerome, a buddy and cousin to Bernie and Earl.

    “Where abouts did youse see da two-legged monster?” asked Jerome.

    “Youse know where da junction is behind the old army barracks on route 99. Dat’s was where we saw Big Foot,” said Bernie.

    Jerome got a funny look on his face and his hands got a little shaky.

    “What’s up buddy?” asked Bernie.

    “I saw big foot tracks around there when I was hunting rabbits. I decided to tell myself dat someone was just wearing big boots and stayed there almost until sunset. I actually fell asleep for a while. Dat monster could have eaten me alive,” replied Jerome.

    “Should we get together a pose’ to hunt da two-legged monster.

    “I think we should see if we can find him, but I don’t think we should shoot him,” said Earl.

    “Why’s dat?” asked Jerome.

    “He didn’t kill ya dat day and he didn’t go after us. I think he is not a danger ta humans, only small game,” replied Earl.

 

    The next day was a Sunday. All the men from the Bear Butt the night before decided to feign belly aches and possible food poisoning to get out of going to church. Their wives were perturbed with them but let them stay home. They all met at the Bear Butt Inn and rode in Bernie’s two-seater.

    They tramped all over the woods behind da old army barracks. They didn’t see any sign of da hairy wonder.

    “I guess we can call it a bust,” said Bernie.

    “I guess so,” replied Jerome.

 

    That night around the campfire at Bernie’s there was talk about Big Foot. Bertha mentioned that she and Irene saw some big footprints by the berry patches near Bush Corners. That got the men’s attention.

    “Do ya think it’s da same Big Foot,” asked Irene.

    “I don’t know. How far is Bush Corners from the Army base?” asked Bernie.

    “I think it is only a couple of miles, so it is possible it is da same Big Foot,” replied Jerome.

 

    Time passed and everybody began to forget about the sighting of Big Foot.

    Irene was hanging clothes on the clothesline. She walked over to the tool shed to get her trimming sheers to trim some of the small trees in the yard. She stepped in a big hole and almost twisted her ankle. Irene looked down and saw a huge footprint. There were several footprints leading to and from the woods behind their homestead.

    All the townsfolk had to see the footprints. Word gets out fast in small towns. Earl wanted to make a cement cast out of one of the footprints and Irene told him to wait until someone who knew what they were doing looked at the print.

    A guy named Gus Worthers, who wrote about Big Foots and other scary U.P. monsters, was contacted and he was more than happy to come and look at the print. He had to travel all the way from the area by Marquette, Michigan.

    Gus arrived the next day and he was anxious to see what all the fuss was all about. Gus circled the footprints for a couple of minutes and scratched his chin.

    “I don’t know about this print. It looks a little suspicious to me,” said Gus.

    Earl spied Gertie and Shirley Joe hiding behind the bushes.

    “Come out girls. We want to talk to youse,” demanded Earl.

    They walked sheepishly over to the group of adults.

    “Do you know anything about these footprints?” asked Earl.

    “We tried to tell youse da other night dat we made da prints, but youse chased us off. Before we knew it, da news spread like wildfire and we didn’t have da guts to fess up to our deed,” said Gertie.

    Earl was red in the face. Bernie was furious. Gus was frustrated because he traveled all that way to look at footprints.

    “Can we get ya a beer, Gus,” said a humble Earl.

    “Yes, don’t mind if I do,” replied Gus.

    Bernie made a fire in Earl’s fire pit and the crowd that wanted to see the footprints stayed to chat with Gus. They wanted to pick his brains about all his sightings of Big Foot and his other adventures that was in his book.

    Gus decided to tell them about one of his scariest adventures with a Big Foot near the Marquette area. “One night I decided to go camping deep into the woods near one of the brooks north of Marquette. I was feeling really proud of myself that I saw a wolf, a fox and an eagle that day. I was tired from all my hiking and decided to collapse under the stars with my dog Ralph. The night was perfect. It was warm, about 70 degrees and there were a lot of stars. The sky was clear. I was sound asleep and then this horrible howl rang through the air. I was jolted out of a sound sleep. Ralph was on guard sitting at attention next to me, growling.  I reached over and grabbed my revolver and made sure it was cocked. I could see pretty well because it was a full-moon and my campfire was still going. There he was, he was only a few yards from me. He stood as still as a statue staring at me. Ralph continued growling and   whimpered at the same time. I could smell him. It was a strong musty smell. I stood up as carefully as I could. I didn’t want to make any sudden movements. He remained where he was and continued to stare at me. It was really creepy. I walked backwards to keep an eye on him. I  reached my jeep and got inside with Ralph. Then he decided to approach my car. Fortunately, my car started right away, and I was off like a flash. He followed my car for a while until I reached the main road. Then he was gone. I could hear my heartbeat.”

    Everyone around the campfire was staring at Gus and their eyes were wide with awe. Their mouths were open a bit and they sat rigidly staring at Gus.

    Gus stayed the night at Bernie’s homestead and slept on his couch. He ended up not being too upset with the girls.

    Late that evening, there was a howl, one that sounded like a wolf and a woman screaming loudly off in the woods behind Earl’s homestead. The townsfolk had goose bumps up and down their backs. Gus and the rest of the guys went hunting again for the mysterious Big Foot the next day.

 

Big Foot ?

 

 

A Deer's Tale

 

“You know you’re a real Yooper when you

spend more time playing cards at deer

camp than hunting.”

-Jim Bee and Jim Dee

 

Bernie and Earl were preparing for the most important time of the year, Hunting Season. The stores selling hunting licenses, bullets, and other hunting necessities were buzzing with activity. Cases of Old Milwaukee and pasties were loaded in the pickup trucks. The women were gearing up for two blissful weeks minus the time they came home for Thanksgiving to quiet delight without the sounds of snoring, farting and snorting of their beloveds.

    Sometimes the ground in certain areas of the U.P. was dusted with snow. Other areas were hit hard and the driving and walking through the woods was made more difficult. The hunters wanted some snow to help them track the deer they shot.

    Many hunting camps were often built rugged and with minimal hints at being a place of residence. Bernie and Earl’s camp was rustic. It was set in the middle of the woods with only a two track to get to and from the road. They managed to hook up electricity by the use of a generator and the outhouse was equipped with a gas lantern. A wood stove sat in the very center of the one room cabin. They kept the beer and pasties in large coolers. Two large wooden tables were located on both sides of the wood stove with mismatched camping chairs. A gas lantern was sitting on one of the wooden tables.

    Plastic forks, knives and spoons were placed in a large coffee tin in middle of one of the tables. A basin of water was sitting on a small cupboard by the doorway. The hunters used a large drum to collect rainwater. The water was used to clean up when they felt it was necessary, which wasn’t too often. Three sets of bunk beds lined three of the walls. There was a window by the door and the door had a small window. The larger window was covered with an old torn green bed sheet.

 

    Every man in the U.P., no matter what their talent is for hunting, thought they were the best hunters in the world. It was their god given right to inherit this gift, but Earl could not hit the side of a barn at fifty yards.

    “Earl, buddy, did you practice shooting like we told you to do last summer,” asked Bernie.

    “Like I’s told you before, I don’t need da practice. I haven’t bagged me a deer yet because those crazy deer know when I am comin.’”

    “I don’t know Earl. I hate getting my deer every year and you have to tell yer old lady that you didn’t get yers. I feel bad for ya. Let’s go out shooting tonight.”

    Earl looked a little bothered by his bud’s suggestion and turned around and left the store in a huff.

    “Oh, come on buddy. Get back here,” said Bernie.

   Earl didn’t look back. He kept on walking.

    Bernie finished shopping and he was trying not to let Earl get him in a bad mood. This was Bernie’s favorite time of year, and nothing was going to get in between him and the outdoors. He loved going to camp, telling stories, playing poker and hunting from dawn to dusk. This is what he lived for, and he knew his buddy would pull out of his funk and join the fun.

           

    The day finally arrived, November 14^th.   It was time to load up the truck with gas, load up the tank with gas for the generator and the backup tank too. Can never be too sure if it is going to be too cold to hunt and they may be stuck inside playing poker.

    Bernie was so excited. Gertrude, Earl’s wife, made all the pasties for the trip. Ellie, Bernie’s wife, cured the strips of beef and smoked it to make beef jerky. Big tins of cookies were prepared by the other wives. Things were really looking good for the two-week excursion.

    Earl showed up at the last minute to load his gear in Bernie’s truck. He wasn’t smiling but that didn’t dampen Bernie’s spirits.

    The first night started out with a bang. Everyone wanted to wet their whistles and play poker. They downed quite a lot of beer that first night and woke up the next morning with hangovers, hitting them really hard. They were all drinking the mountain iced tea one of the wives prepared. Didn’t seem to do the trick so they went back to bed and woke up a few hours later ready to hit the woods after eating a couple of pasties.

 

    “Bernie, I am sorry I got so mad at you last week,” said Earl.

    “It’s okay, buddy. We are out in God’s country right now and there ain’t a thing to be concerned with,” replied Bernie.

    They headed to their blinds to sit and wait for the deer to come to them. Both sprayed deer pee on themselves to hide their human scent and before they left camp.

    Earl was settling in and started gazing toward a group of trees and he crawled out of this blind and aimed at a young buck off in the distance. He tried to hold his gun steady. He took aim and shot. The deer fell to the ground. Earl was amazed that he finally hit a deer. When he almost reached where the deer fell, the deer jumped up and ran off.

    Earl scratched his head and went back to his blind. He thought for sure he hit the deer.

    Earl dozed for a while and when he woke up, he saw the same deer a short distance away from his blind. He quietly crawled out of his blind, stood up, took aim and shot. The deer fell again. Earl smiled and walked quickly over to where the deer fell. He couldn’t find the deer.

    Earl started walking towards Bernie’s blind to see how he was doing.

    “Bernie, did you see any deer today,” asked Earl.

    “Ya, I did. I even shot at a deer today. But the funniest thing happened. When I got close to where the deer fell, dat deer got up and ran away,” replied Bernie.

    “Dat’s been happening to me today, too. Never happened before. Most years I don’t see any deer.”

    “We got to ask the other guys tonight if they had any luck,” said Earl.

 

    The poker game was going well that evening. It was nickel and dime so the losses didn’t hurt too much. Earl had a bunch of money sitting in front of him. It was his lucky night.

    “Hey guys, I have to ask you something. I shot at a deer today and it fell down. When I walked up to dat deer, it ran away. Did that happen to you today?” asked Earl.

    “No, we didn’t see any deer today,” replied Gerald, one of their hunting buddies.

    “Dat’s strange what you are saying, Earl,” said Billy, another hunting buddy.

    “I know. I usually don’t have any luck at seeing any deer all hunting season. I finally get a chance to shoot at deer and they run away after falling down,” said Earl. He looked disappointed and opened another can of Old Milwaukee.

   They called it an evening a lot sooner than the night before. Gerald woke up the whole camp in middle of the night when he appeared to be farting a song in his sleep. The covers of his sleeping bag rose with each fart. The rest of the guys covered their ears with their pillows and went back to sleep.

 

    The next day was a nice day. The sun was shining. The dusting of snow on the ground made a slight crunching sound when the hunters walked over it. The light mist rain that fell during the early evening froze over the night in the below freezing temperatures. The hunters trudged through the woods to their perspective blinds to get in another day of hunting.

    A short distance away from Earl’s blind, the deer that showed up the previous day was standing by a small group of trees. The deer appeared to be pacing back and forth in front of the trees taunting Earl. Earl stayed in his blind this time and aimed at the deer and shot. The deer fell again. Earl climbed out of his blind and walked over to the spot the deer fell. The deer got up before Earl reached the spot and ran off.

    Earl decided to follow the deer. The deer joined a couple of other deer in a small meadow. It appeared as if they were communicating with one another and then one deer fell to the ground, and it looked like he was laughing. His legs were flailing and the other deer looked as if they were laughing with him. Earl could not believe his eyes. He needed to tell Bernie what he saw.

    Earl walked to Bernie’s blind and asked he could talk to him. Bernie and Earl sat on the ground in front of a large tree and Earl commenced to tell Bernie what he saw.

    “I can’t believe I saw da deer fall, get up and then run off again today. I decided to follow dat deer and he was meeting with other deer. They seemed to be laughing and this is going to sound crazy, but I think they are making fun of me,” said Earl.

    “You know what I think we should do. We can’t tell the other guys,” said Bernie.

    “What’s that?”

    “We need to go into town and see that fortune teller and see if she can shed some light on this problem.”

    “I have some beer money left. We can use that,” said Earl.

 

********

 

    Eloise the fortune teller was busy with another client. He was one of the hunters from another camp. Earl and Bernie stared at him when he walked out of the front door of the establishment with a smile on his face.

    Eloise asked Earl and Bernie to come into the room in the back and had them sit at a round table. She looked into her crystal ball and asked them why they came to visit her. Earl told her the story about the deer.

    She closed her eyes and said a little chant. Earl thought she said the word “cheetos” or he thought maybe he was getting hungry because it was after the time he usually ate lunch. He closed his eyes too to help with the process. Eloise stopped chanting and asked Earl and Bernie to open their eyes.

    She told them, “I saw the deer in my crystal ball, and I was told that they are not going to let you shoot and kill them. They said they pretend to die to fool you and they know you are terrible at using your fire sticks. They want you to go back to your homes and leave them alone.”

    Earl and Bernie were stunned at learning the deer were smart enough to play tricks on them. They always felt they were smarter than any animal.

    “Are ya sure dat’s what they told you,” asked Bernie.

    “Yes, I am. They spoke loud and clear,” replied Eloise.

    “I don’t know about you buddy, but I don’t think we should tell da other guys about what we learned,” said Bernie.

    “I think we should keep it a secret, too,” responded Earl.

    Eloise accepted $30 from Earl and Bernie and sent them on their way.

    “We best get caught up on our sleep when we are in our blinds. Since those darn deer won’t let us shoot them.”

    They didn’t tell a soul and went home this hunting season without a deer.

 

 

 

 

 

Hunting Camp

Are There Pasties In Heaven?

 

“Pasties are Yooper Soul Food.”

 

The spring fling was just around the corner and Mabel was struggling to perfect her pasty recipe for the pasty cook off. She was in the kitchen experimenting with pasty recipes. The house smelled of onions, suet, pork sausage and rutabagas. Flour was strewn all over the counter and on the floor. Mabel’s apron was sprinkled with the white powder,  and grease was also streaked on the worn garment. Mabel had a smile on her face picturing herself taking first place, again. She has won every pasty cooking contest for the past ten years.

     Other women and men tried to beat her and take the first place prize which was two cases of Old Milwaukee. Mabel prided herself on holding onto the secrets to the best pasties in the county. Even her husband wasn’t let in on her secrets. She was afraid he would spill the beans when he was drinking with his buddies. Most everybody in the U.P. believed pasties are the best food in the world and would have loved to have her recipe.

    Gertie, Thelma Lou’s daughter, was sitting on her Papa’s lap. She thought her Papa knew everything and she had some important questions to ask him. Papa asked Gertie to tell him about what she’s been wondering.           

    “Papa, where did pasties come from. Did they come from heaven? They are so yummy.” 

    “Let me tell you about da legend of da first pasty in da U.P., Gertie,” said Papa. He looked down at Gertie and smiled. Papa loved to tell stories. He was known around these parts as one of  da best storytellers in da county.

    “Da pasty has a long history of being a cultural food in da U.P. People actually think they came from da U.P. We are so well-known for da delicious explosion of flavor. When da first pasty was made in da U.P. is a mystery. This is what I know about its origins. Mining was booming in da 1800s in da U.P. and even sooner than dat. There’s been rumors dat copper was discovered in da lower parts of this country like da area where Texas is today. A long time ago dat copper was mined in da U.P. Dat’s another story for another time. Back ta pasties. I was told by my Pa dat pasties were introduced by da Cornish from England back in da early 1800s. I was told dat mining was drying up in England for da Cornish and so some of them decided ta come to da U.P. They brought us a lot of knowledge about mining and they also introduced us to da pasty. Pasties, in those days, served as da main lunch for da miners. It was small, easy to carry and had all they needed in one meal. Pasties normally had potatoes and onions in them. Da other stuff in pasties were added later on.”

    “Who are da Cornish, Papa?” asked Gertie.

    “Da Cornish were known ta come from Cornwall, England across the Atlantic Ocean.”

    Gertie appeared to be satisfied with her Papa’s answer, so he decided to continue with his story. “Pasties were easy to heat up for da miners. They would place their pasty on a shovel and hold it over a fire or they would hold their pasties over a head-lamp candle. Ya can see how they would be handy, Gertie.”

    Gertie nodded her head and snuggled closer to her Papa.

    “There’s a proper way ta eat a pasty dat was introduced by da Cornish.”  

    “What’s dat, Papa?”

    “Ya need to hold da pasty in your hand and start at da opposite end. Dat’s so if ya don’t eat da entire pasty, you can pick it up later and eat it.”

    “Dat makes sense,” said Gertie. Gertie looked up at her Papa and he tapped her chin.

    “Yer grandma has been making pasties since she was a chillin’ like ya. Ya could probably learn how to make pasties from yer grandma.”

    Gertie climbed off of Papa’s lap and ran up to Grandma and hugged her legs. Mabel looked down at Gertie confused and patted her on the head. She ran back and jumped on her Papa’s lap again.

    “Do ya want to hear more about pasties?”

    “Yes, Papa.”

    “It was also passed down dat a pasty caused da great mine fire in da early 1800s. One of da miners forgot about his pasty dat was being heated on his shovel. There’s so much lard in those pasties dat it caught on fire. Fortu-nately, none of da miners met their fate dat day.”

    “What else is in a pasty, Papa?”

     “As far as I understand, there’s potatoes, rutabagas, meat, I think yer grandma uses pork sausage and suet, onions and some wonderful seasonings dat yer grandma won’t tell me about.”

    “Why won’t she tell you, Papa?”

    “I think she’s afraid I will tell others about her secret ingredients.”

    “Why doesn’t she want others to know?” asked Gertie.

    “Go ask yer grandma about dat and let me know.”

    Gertie climbed off Papa’s lap and entered the kitchen and asked, “Grandma, why don’t you want anybody to know about what is in yer pasties?” Grandma looked sheepishly at Gertie, wiped her hands on her apron and walked into da living room to confront Papa.

   “What’s up with Gertie’s question?” asked Mabel.

    “I sent Gertie in to ask ya about why ya didn’t want anyone to know yer ingredients because I didn’t know how to answer da question,” replied Papa.

    “I don’t like dat ya are filling her head which such nonsense,” said Mabel. Her hands were placed on her hips.

    “Well, why don’t ya want to share yer recipe?” Papa confronted her.

    Mabel was feeling rather sheepish and decided to fess up. “I want to be da winner at da pasty cook off.”

    “But Grandma, you should share yer recipe so everybody can make pasties as good as yer’s.”

    Grandma tapped her finger on her chin and Papa swears he could see a light bulb light up above her head.

    “Gertie, you are so right. This year after I win da contest, I will share my recipe with everyone at da spring fling. You are such a smart little gurl,” Mabel patted Gertie on her head again.

    Mabel has been fretting over da pasty bake off fer years and decided it was high time she relaxed and enjoyed da Spring Fling.  She was more than willing to turn over da torch and let others take da lead with her recipe or their own recipes. Mabel let out a sigh of relief and sat down heavily on the sofa.

    “Tell us another story, Papa,” said Mabel.

 

 

A Yooper Pasty

Betrayal (Computer Hackers)

 

Betrayal

“Life is 10% of what happens to you,

and 90% of how you  respond to it.”

-Charles R. Swindoll

 Gerald stared at his laptop screen when a popup warning appeared telling him Microsoft Defender detected a threat and to contact 1-800-555-1234 immediately. He was ordered to not turn off his computer. He was informed in the message that the threat tried to go to a password generator. Gerald was beside himself. He had to save his computer and his bank accounts. Gerald was impressed with his computer skills because he was able to pay a lot of his bills online. His ma and pa never touched a computer.

    Helen, his wife, was waiting for him. They were going out to eat. He ignored her angry face and turned his attention to his computer. He called the number, and a woman told him it was serious situation and instructed him on how to allow the company, supposedly Microsoft Defender, to allow remote access to fix the problem. He carefully followed her directions. Gerald was concerned that his computer would shut down, so they set it up for his computer to continuously stay on.

    Gerald’s computer sat on their kitchen table on all night. He was told to call the same number the next day at 4:30 to continue with the process of taking care of the threat. Gerald was beside himself.

    “Helen, I need to take care of a computer problem. We can’t go out to eat.” She fumed and told him he was probably dealing with hackers.

    During the phone call the next day, the threat was enhanced when a woman told him Malware Bytes were installed and a scan started. Their work had to be carried out to the next level. A man came on the line and told him hackers had control of his computer. He reviewed the information and said he would work on the problem and notify banks about his computer being hacked. He asked what banks he did business with, and the man said he would draft a letter to the bank representatives. Gerald continued to fret and was grateful the Microsoft Defender company was working so hard to help him with his problem.

    Again, Helen warned him he was probably dealing with hackers and asked if she could contact Charlie her computer tech.

   “They seem to be on the up and up, Helen. We do not want to jeopardize our bank accounts.”

    Gerald during a follow up conversation on the same day was told not to talk to anyone about the problem including bank staff. Gerald was given a code number which had to be included in all contacts concerning the threat to verify he was working with people who were trying to help. The man told him “No one can be trusted and because your phone is tied to the internet the hackers can potentially hear your calls. Expect to get a call from a bank representative.”

   Gerald looked up at his large flat screen television. “Helen, we can be watched by our television, also because it is a smart tv. We may be watched right at this moment.” He was becoming more and more paranoid.

    Helen sighed. “Gerald, you are concerning me. You turned over your computer to strangers who say they are helping you. You don’t know who they are. They may be trying to gain access to our bank accounts. You are acting really paranoid. I heard you give them our bank information, even mine.”

    “I didn’t give them account numbers so they can’t get into our accounts.”

    “That makes me feel a little better. Please let me take your computer to Charlie and have him inspect what is going on. I trust him and so do a lot of other people.”

    “No, I want to continue with the Microsoft Defender people and see if the problem can be resolved.”

    “I think you are making a mistake.”

    The phone rang and Gerald answered. It was the computer company again.

    A woman told him again that it was a serious situation. She asked about the banks and investments he had and she would begin a review and an investigation. She demanded he call the next morning. He told her he had to work.

    The next day at 3:30 a woman told him a charge from a gambling website was charged to his bank account. He was not told how much. She asked him if that was his action. Gerald told her no. His fret mounted. He asked when his computer would be clean so he could use it again. She wasn’t sure.

    Gerald made two more phone calls to the initial contacts, no answer, left messages. The company had him tied in knots, not knowing where to turn next. He felt disconnected from his normal review of his email and facebook accounts.  He wanted the problem resolved.

    On day three, he received a call from a bank representative. She said they were working with the FDIC to set up a sting to trap the hackers and arrest them. They would provide a dummy account and he would need to temporarily transfer money into it. It would be safe and returned after the arrest.

    Gerald finally reached his limit and told her he did not trust them and ended contact. He told Helen what happened.

    “Can I please take your computer to Charlie?”

    “Yes, go ahead. I feel really stupid that I bought into what the hackers were telling me.”

    “Gerald, laptop protection programs are not going to contact you and give you a phone number to call them.”

    “They even gave me their names and they seemed so sincere.”

    “Polite hackers. I can’t believe you worked so much with them. It’s actually really creepy because they just wanted to take money from you, and they created such an elaborate scam.”

    Gerald reiterated and said “I really thought my computer and bank accounts were in trouble.”

    “You spent a lot of time with them.”

    “I know. Too much time.”

    Helen contacted Charlie and he agreed to look at Gerald’s computer.

    Gerald dropped off his computer at Charlie’s home.

 

    Helen met Charlie at a local coffee shop to pick up Gerald’s computer.

    “It was a clean program that I easily removed that the hackers put on his computer. Gerald did not have any visible passwords, so nothing was hacked.”

    “That’s good to know. The hackers told him gambling activity happened and asked him if he did that. They did not tell him how much. They also told him not to talk to anyone about the hacking situation. He could not trust anyone.”

    “They can be very convincing. You would not believe how often this happens. Hackers can provoke peoples’ vulnerabilities by using their computer protection programs. I helped a man get back $60,000 that was taken from him.”

    “I am glad you were there for him. I told Gerald computer protection programs do not contact people. He would not believe me.”

    “Hackers are getting more and more tricky.”

    “They cooked up such a scheme and thought they had a live one with Gerald. He talked to the hackers on several occasions. They tried to convince him to put money in a dummy account so they could arrest the hackers. That’s when he was on to them and stopped contact with them. Gerald went to his bank and the man told him that what happened to him has happened to many people. His bank is going to keep an eye on his account to make sure no one tries to hack into it.”

    “That’s good.”

   Helen went on to say “The bank person said they would never recommend the transfer of funds from one account to another which was not explicitly owned by the same individual with a guarantee it would be returned. The “sting” which was being proposed sounded like a scam and the scammers were trying to get Gerald to give money away which would have been the legal way as opposed to accessing an account and taking it without permission which is stealing.”

    “The scammers got his attention with a bogus claim and then proceeded to build up his concern about his bank accounts by lying about a transaction. They are skilled at what they do and people like Gerald would not know it was a scam.”

    “I received an alert the other day saying it was a Microsoft Defender warning and my computer was frozen with a phone number. I have Emsisoft coverage on my computer from you. I turned off my laptop and turned it back on and it was fine. I was trying to explore a Wordle program. Not doing that again.”

    “You are probably safe to explore that program again.”

    “I don’t have time to play those games anyways.”       

   They finished their coffee and headed in separate directions.